The Ure Family

A Legit Update, For Once

2011-11-21T20:36:00.000-08:00

I meant to post this a while ago, and it will be a repeat for those who got the family email I sent out. It is a bit of an update on the funny and endearing things the kids have been saying. Also, a few of our first experimental photos with our new camera! When I say "our" photos, I must admit that these are all James. I love artistic expression, and it has been a bitter pill for me to swallow time and time again that I am not an exceptionally gifted artist. I have tried my hand just a little at photography, and I always always always get bad shots of everyone. Even if I take 10 shots in a row. I just don't have a natural knack for it. James, the left-brained, logical, unemotional, practical constitutional attorney, is a much much better natural photographer than I am. :-( But, that means there is still a chance of us having lots of great family pictures. :-) He is excited to get light room when we can afford it. As it is, the following are just straight out of the camera. Here are the pictures.

The first time James tried out the camera it was just at the neighborhood pool, and he got a few fun shots.

Then we played around with the camera a little bit on a little family walk/hike just up on the red hill. The skies were really neat that day, and the weather was perfect.

This one kind of looks like a commercial for Tom's shoes (maybe if they weren't so dirty):

I can't believe how old and cute our kids look!

Josh made an awesome clown for Halloween. Too bad you don't get the full body shot because I made him some sweet clown pants.

And here is the email I sent. If you already got the email, it will be a repeat from here on out.

Josh and Isaac are both really in a development phase. Their personalities are maturing and deepening. Isaac can pretty much speak fluidly now, in sentences and questions. I have tried to teach him the gospel more as he matures. This is sometimes rewarding and sometimes not. Here is an example of not: during the sacrament on Sunday I asked him, "what are you thinking about right now during the sacrament?" to which he responded "um.... poop." I tried not to laugh as I explained that the sacrament was a time to think about Jesus, who died for us so that we could live with Heavenly Father after we die. A few days after this discussion--or one like it--Isaac was in his car seat in the van, and asked me, "Why Jesus died?" (he still uses the wrong tense) I thought this was a deep and profound question for a 2 year old, and was preparing to give a response that was probably way more than he meant to receive, when he guessed, "did he eat too much bread at chooch (church)?" Why does he always make it hard not to laugh when we are talking about sacred things!? I gave a simple explanation of how Jesus said he wanted to be punished for our mistakes so that we wouldn't have to be punished if we would repent, and that's why he died. Isaac knit his brows and asked with feeling, "Why??" (This may seem like he understands gospel principles very deeply for a 2-year-old, but just to put it in perspective, he asks "why?" with the same tone, facial expression, and passion when I tell him things like, "I'm going to get on the computer for a minute," or, "you can't have Joshie's toy without asking," or, "please put away your slippers.") He makes me laugh so many times every day. James said this morning, "I wish I could just take Beets with me to work in my pocket and pull him out when I get bored." He is very entertaining. Yesterday he asked me to sing "the conker song." I thought I must have misunderstood, and he just kept saying "the conker song!!" Josh said, "He means, praise to the man." Ohhhhhh, the CONQUER song!!!! "....death shall not conquer the hero again!" He and Josh love playing and wrestling together, and I often have the instinct to separate them when it gets rough, only to see that they are both laughing hysterically as they jump on each other and smother each other. Then I just let it keep going until I hear the tears... they must think it's worth it because they usually keep going afterward.

Josh has also been hilarious lately, and is developing a very unique and contagious sense of humor. Our routine every day is that Beth goes to school leaving at 7:40 a.m. I spend the morning with the boys, and we usually have an early lunch so that we can begin quiet time around noon. I put Isaac down in his room, and then I go lay down in my room with Josh and we read stories and then take a nap. We have to leave here at 2:30 to go get Beth (and the Jensen boys) from school. I have really enjoyed that time I get to spend with Josh one-on-one every day when we read together. Yesterday when I came into my room with the stories, he pensively remarked, "It feels like an English afternoon." I burst out laughing and said, "what?!" to which he matter-of-factly repeated with a buried smirk, "It feels like an English afternoon." Then we both burst out laughing. (It happened to be cloudy outside... still... I'm not sure what an English afternoon is.) This past Sunday morning we were all eating breakfast (oatmeal), and Beth had one of her infrequent emotional episodes where she moped about what we were eating and wouldn't eat it. Her mood had dampened the general morale, and we were all quietly eating while she whined, when Josh burst forth grandly with, "todaaaaaaay, is a HAPPY day!" He held his arms out fully extended with palms up on both sides of him as he said it, and he sounded like an orator starting a speech. We all burst out laughing, even Beth, which dispelled the gloom and cheered us all up.

At the local library we have a little fountain where you can toss a penny in if you so desire. We have made it part of our library tradition to toss in a penny if we have time, and if behavior has been good at the library. Usually it is just the boys and me at the library, but on this particular occasion Beth was there too, and it was the 4 of us. Isaac recklessly threw his penny in without a second thought. Beth carefully tossed hers in and said, "I wish..... that I had WINGS!" Then Josh thought for a minute, carefully tossed in his own penny and said, "I wish..... that Beth had a headlamp!" (Josh has his own head lamp, which has been the envy of his siblings on occasion) I thought it was so sweet that he sacrificed his wish for his sister's happiness. On the way home Beth said shyly, "I hope my wish comes true!" Then Josh said, "I hope mine does too, then you'll be able to see in the dark while you're flying!" :) Our children are such a delight to us.

I hope you have a great week, and that you have at least one English afternoon.

Please only read this if you like anger.

2011-11-04T17:00:00.000-07:00

This is a vent post.

I'm kind of surprised I still pretty much have it together right now. Today I (voluntarily) have the Jensen's 3 boys, in addition to my own 3. Things have gone reasonably well, considering. But 5 of them have gone with no naps, and I think I have heard someone burst into screaming tears of rage somewhere between 30 and 40 times today (probably 20 to 30 of those times were my kids).

This morning I ran to the store while I only had 3 with me, just before we went to pick up the other 3 from school. Right when we got in the store, the 3 boys started fighting over the 2 spots in the car grocery cart. I got that under control, and Josh and Brig (the 2 boys who are over 40 pounds, of course), agreed to sit in the double baby section in the front of the cart right by me. Have you ever lifted a portly 4 and a half year old above your head? It's not easy. [someone just burst into tears.... and, consoled.] I had Josh jump to help me heft the bulk up there. Then I put my hands under Brig's armpits expecting him to jump, but he didn't. So I said, "jump." In my experience, most kids bend their knees in preparation for a jump. Not this kid, bless his heart. He just blasts off like a rocket. So I took a bludgeon to the bottom of the chin, and saw some stars. I think a few people had gathered to watch the circus by this point, and heard me say, "DAMMIT," without restraint. I was beyond holding it under my breath. I think I have uttered that phrase about 10 times today. Of course, the requests, fighting, crying, and questions are no respecters of pain, so I was still fielding questions and consoling fighting children while I was holding back my own tears. (keep in mind that this whole time I am in a crazy hurry to pick up the kids from school on time, so that I don't have to have 6 kids with me at the store.) Still seeing stars, I captain the vessel they have the audacity to call a shopping cart around the corner, and we get about 10 feet before our cab driver, Isaac, starts freaking out. I checked in with him to find him shrinking to a corner of the cab and pointing to a huge rat's nest of hair, suspended in static electricity, where his feet should go. I managed to procure one of those papers that you grab a donut with, and just closed my eyes and reached in there, aiming for the bulk of the hair. At this point I am dry heaving, and can barely see through my tears. As luck would have it, the nearest garbage can was a thousand miles away, in the corner of the produce section. So on our way over there, hairball paper in tow, it sounds like someone is calling my name from behind me. I ignore it. Move on. I don't really care who it was. And I guess when you look like you are pushing a primary-colored clown car with little midget clowns laughing hysterically, shoving each other, getting in and out/on and off of the cart, and occasionally screaming, people either roll their eyes, or they like to smile and connect with me, sharing a bonding moment to communicate, hey, you're doing a good thing. Usually I appreciate this support, but I tell you, I almost wrung the employee's neck who cheerfully greeted the children and myself at this point in time. I was seeing red. This is a bad way to start off a shopping trip. Fortunately, it got better from there, and by the end I was congratulating myself for keeping my head above the water of rage.

Another time I uttered the aforementioned phrase was this morning when I was trying to fill up our little soap dispenser in the kitchen, that attaches under the sink. I spilled about a quarter cup of Dawn into the sink (I HATE waste, and I always take special care to use ONLY the amount of dish soap that I need), and had 2 boys right there asking me to explain in detail why I was upset. Then I about keeled over reaching an arm's length under the sink and trying to push up hard enough, while twisting, to get the thing to screw on, and failing repeatedly, with the cupboard digging into my neck and shoulder, and at least one child leaning on me. It was after I finally succeeded, and I was finally washing the dishes (at 10:00 a.m., still in my bath robe), with the wide, furry sleeves of my bath robe getting wet in the dish water, that I snapped. I ripped off that ridiculous bath robe, rolled it up in a ball, and threw it on the ground. I also had an audience for that, and they calmly asked me to explain my behavior.

Then I got to briefly visit with Suzy's lovely mother and her husband, whom I was meeting for the first time.... in my brown furry bath robe with my hair slicked into a bobby pin. Perfect.

Anyway, usually it's pretty hard for me to recover from a day that starts out that way. I think it is helping that I am just taking a few minutes to get it out of me and into a blog post. But I am pretty happy that I am not storming out of the house in a fit of rage right now.

But as it is I have 3 ornery children asking for dinner. So, over and out.

Yo

2011-09-18T19:16:00.000-07:00

Ay-oh! I'm back from hiatus.Wow, that was a long time. I guess when a person gets out of the habit of blogging, it doesn't always occur to that person to blog anymore when time becomes available. But you'll never guess what JAMES said to me. These were his exact words, "I am formally requesting a blog post from you." I know, right? I was speechlessly flattered. So,

To James
Who always insists that I do cool stuff like take an oil painting class and get Lasik* and blog

So, what, 6 months? 8 months? Okay, BRIEF update:

We decided in about March that we would be moving to St. George because, well, we wanted to. We put our house up for short sale. We got an offer! (for $50,000 less than what we paid for it, oh yeah, and we put a painful widow's mite, and LOTS of time and sweat into it--you win some, you lose some). Then in July we were still waiting for the bank to respond to the offer, so we decided to just move on down to St. George and keep the basement rental rented out. Then the people who made an offer on the house said they would be willing to just move in and rent from us at a reduced rate if we were interested. Of course we were, so now our house is rented out. Meanwhile, we went ahead and found a rental house, which is a nice upgrade house-wise from the Cedar house. It is pretty nice, and we are loving it. The only downside is that our yard in Cedar was really great, and the yard here is, well, it would be a stretch to call it a "yard."

We have been here in St. George for the last 3 months. New town, new neighbors, new ward, new area. So far we have LOVED it down here. We live right at the mouth of Snow Canyon and it is just beautiful. We have already spoken in church and I have been called into the Young Women presidency. So far I have enjoyed the youth in our ward and have been glad to have the calling.

3 days before school was scheduled to start for Beth, we got a call from the charter school we had wait-listed her for (she was number 56 on the list when we signed her up) called to inform me that they had a spot for her! We were thrilled. Though I did have to buy school uniforms after I had already done her regular clothes shopping. And it is 20 minutes one way to the charter school. But we have been really happy with our experience there.

BORING. Okay, that brings us to now.

So, in the last 2 years I would say I have gone from seriously considering breezing through the hospital doors and politely asking the receptionist for a drug-induced coma, to feeling like life is really quite--dare I say it--manageable! I won't lie to you, hitting 3 was rough. For quiiiiite a while. Whoa, doggy.

This is always a tough message to accurately convey because these two truths seem to be contradictory:

1. I really love being a mother. It is something I always looked forward to when I was younger. I delight in my children so many times every day. They are so sweet, so funny, and just so delightfully unique. There is truly nothing I would rather be doing with my life right now than spending the majority of my time and energy nurturing my own sweet children, and running a household. It is the most deeply satisfying work I have ever done, and I really do feel most days like I am fulfilling my most important mission on this earth. I love my job.

2. Parenthood is a beast (I must confess I was a little tempted to use the B word there--sorry Mom and Dad).

Some people worry that their kids will feel like burdens if they know that raising children is hard work. Some children DO feel like burdens because of this. So maybe I am "going rogue" by admitting that fact referenced above in #2. But it's pretty hard to deny that it is true, at least sometimes. Am I right? So I haven't found the happy medium yet between making sure my kids know they are the most wonderful blessings, and, being honest about the experience of parenthood.

What other newsy things have happened... oh, Beth got a fat lip at school. When I picked her up and she got in the car, I was shocked at first and felt really bad for her. And then once the initial shock wore off, it became really hard not to laugh, because she seriously looked exactly like this:

When she got home and looked in the mirror, I was finally liberated to laugh, because she burst out laughing too. It was hilarious. HILARIOUS! Hilarious. (this is a phrase we adopted from viewing several episodes of Dylan's Couch on youtube)

Oh and, I laughed for a long time about this little cartoon I saw on facebook:

And how could I forget! This seems inconsequential to all of you I'm sure, but I've had these warts on my feet for over 10 years, and I finally had had enough. I have had them frozen off by a doctor several times. I have tried duct tape. I have tried nail polish. But since they are only a small annoyance I just gave up and hoped they would go away. But a small annoyance multiplied by ten years is a big annoyance. So I finally got serious and tried using medical tape to affix a slice of garlic to the warts, all night and every night for about 6 months. That is a long time to hear your husband complaining every time you get in bed at night. I wondered if it would be worth it. But the two plantars warts on the bottom of my feet are totally gone. And the ones on the top of my foot started to get really irritated from the garlic so I stopped using it and just used the Dr. Scholl's freezing stuff. I had to do it like 6 times and wait 2 weeks in between each time, but they are finally gone. And I probably have the joyful thought about 10 times a day that I am finally free from them. I can't believe it worked! I was beginning to think they were so ingrained in me that nothing short of amputation of my foot would rid me of them.

So, the reason that I don't have any pictures is because we have been without a functional camera for almost a year now. What a waste! But we just ordered a nice camera online a few days ago after months of deliberation. James is going to take a photography class and a lightroom class (photo-editing software) within the next few weeks. We are so excited!

But I will leave you with one really cute picture I took on my phone a while ago:

Oh, I love him.

*I am starting an oil painting class on Tuesday!! It is offered at Dixie as a community ed class. This has always been a closet dream of mine, so once and for all I am going to just hash it out and see if I'm any good, so that I can either become an amazing painter or let the dream die already. And the Lasik, I have been saving up here a little, there a little to go towards things that have been on "the list" for a long time now (we have been really poor for a long time, in case that isn't obvious, so now that the business is growing we are slightly less poor, but "the list" is really long because, like I said, we've been really poor for a long time). And James was the one who insisted that Lasik for me be moved to the top of the list, ahead of things like a new vacuum, bedroom furniture, etc. (eck, more parenthesis, maybe I should take a writing course at community ed instead- we have one thing in our bedroom right now. Our bed. No headboard. Nothing under the bed. No other furniture. Just the bed).

Party time, and a bare bum

2011-02-15T13:39:00.000-08:00

This is a typical example of the good times had by all when James plays with the kids.

A couple Saturdays ago, when we were weary with winter (wow, nice alliteration), we packed up the kids, and the Jensens packed up their kids, and we headed out to Snow Canyon. It was about an hour of driving, and we couldn't believe how nice it was! We stopped in a place called the "sand dunes," and we never left, until it was time to go, because we all loved it so much.

I don't really feel like doing what it takes to figure out how to turn this picture the right way right now. But it's a peach.

The 5th was Beetsy boy's 2nd birthday. Hooray for birthdays!

Actually, the 6th was Matthew Jensen's birthday, and in lieu of having mounds of cake lying around, we just combined (or, we just leeched off of Suzy's cake-baking efforts), and had an informal, small get-together.

The other birthday boy:
This picture just makes me laugh. All the other kids looking at the birthday boy with raw envy.
Isaac's present (ignore our linoleum):
Then the capper for Isaac was when we got a package from Grandma and Grandpa Stott, which contained one of Grandma's masterpieces: a hand-knit sweater, in just the right shade of blue for this boy.

So, there's some pictures. Mmkay?

The Bucket List

2011-02-03T13:45:00.000-08:00

This morning I was doing some spinning at the gym, just listening to my headphones and trying to pass the time. I looked at the wall, and they have all these inspiring pictures of throngs of bikers doing the Tour de France, or other (European) biking events. I don't know how they all ride so closely together without people getting trampled to death. But the point is, I pictured myself doing something I have always dreamed of doing: taking a road bike tour through Holland in the spring, when all the tulips are in bloom. Tulips are my favorite flower, and seeing pictures of those vast tulip fields in Holland has always made me feel pretty dreamy.

I don't know if that's something people even do, but this fellow in the last picture seems to have made some kind of arrangement akin to my dreams.

And that got me thinking, what else do I want to do before I kick the bucket (figuratively speaking)? I would like to have a bucket list. So I will make one now, and then cross it off the bucket list:

The Bucket List.

-Ride a bike through the tulip fields of Holland or some other country with tulips.
-Ride in a hot-air balloon. And it doesn't even have to be that Noah's Ark one. Just a regular one will do.

-Work on Beethoven's Concerto in D Major for violin until I could perform it. Probably just the first movement. I worked on this in college for 2 years and it's probably only about 25% there. Maybe if I practiced 3 hours a day for a year or two....
-Perform it. Accompanied by piano.
-Get a bachelor's degree. Probably in something English-related.
-Take a college Art History class. Then, take a tour of Europe and appreciate all the magnificence and splendor. Especially probably the Sistine Chapel, and other cathedrals that just can't be appreciated from photos.
-This one is still a maybe: do an Olympic triathlon. I feel like I already crossed the triathlon off the bucket list last year with the Sprint, I am considering working up to an Olympic at some point in my life.
-Write a Children's book and have it published.
-Do the zip line in Costa Rica.
-Have a few more babies.
-Provide all of my children with a world-class education.
-Serve a mission for the church.
-Learn to be a seriously awesome embroiderer.
-Build and decorate a beautiful home that I love (which will include a nursery very much like this one--my next baby will NOT live in a closet for the first 2 years... this time I really feel it).
-~~Write a Bucket List~~

See? I'm making progress already. That's about all I've thought of for now. That, and, it's time to go get Beth from school.

What's on your bucket list?!

The latest

2011-01-20T12:25:00.000-08:00

I am what some may have called a "fair-weather blogger." I don't deny it.

The problem is, I never think I have anything to say. So this will probably be another post about nothing.

So, I heard NieNie makes $600,000 a month from blogging. Seriously?! That's just crazy. I would feel totally awesome if I somehow made say, $100 a month from blogging.

Yesterday I got a paper cut on my eyeball. I felt that the situation was pretty serious for about 20 minutes, as the tears involuntarily streamed down the one cheek, and then when I checked it out in the mirror and could see a very fine cut right across my pupil. I thought about going to the eye doctor, but you know, being uninsured I have to really weigh the pros and cons of those decisions. Sometimes it is totally foolhardy not to go in, but lots of times people just panic and go. And if you are insured, that's okay. And you don't even think twice about it. But you do think twice if you are paying out of pocket (which, incidentally, is still way, way, WAY cheaper than paying for insurance out of pocket, even if I spent like 2 to 3 thousand dollars a year on doctor visits(our average per year is more like $200)--which is why we just have a sort of "catastrophe" insurance with a high deductible, which we have never had to use. Anyhow, I just closed my eyes and laid on the couch while Beth watched a movie for a couple hours after it happened, while the boys were sleeping. And it bothered me a little for the rest of the day, but when I woke up this morning it felt normal.

Right now Josh is in the "look, Mom!" stage. I bet I hear that phrase come out of his lips oh....... maybe one to two hundred times a day. It is my knee-jerk reaction when I hear "look, Mom!" to turn my head quickly and watch the throwing of the paper airplane, or the balancing of a quarter on a finger/toy train, or a jump, or a tower of blocks. It's almost as if the child is taking my head and turning it in the direction of the attraction (and away from whatever I am focusing on at the moment). The bear will be 4 years old next month. Oh, he is a good one. I think I got my easiest child and then my hardest child in rapid succession. And I won't name any names. And the "hard" child is loved ever so dearly, and is in probably the peak of childhood cuteness right now.

Beth is increasing in reading fluency. She is great at it. I think I will start shopping for a violin and (hopefully) start teaching her lessons. Anything I do will be better than nothing, for now.

So, James thinks I should start doing book reviews on the blog. I read some. I wouldn't say a lot (right now), but I do like to read, and I do like to write (usually about nothing, sometimes about something). But it seems like it might be boring to read book reviews, and maybe you all wouldn't care for that. I'm not sure I would care for it.

I am trying to do little things to be a better parent right now. I feel like I am probably an average mother right now, and I am trying to improve that. There is a scarcity of patience around here, especially in the mornings. And a few things that have been helping are as follows:

-Not serving breakfast until everyone is dressed and beds are made (with the exception of myself, of course. I get to wallow around in my pajamas with greasy hair until 11:00. I'm so lucky.)

-Trying really hard to truly prioritize the needs of the kids above my own. This is tricky. I know that my needs need to be met. I often feel that if I can just meet a few of my basic needs, I'm a much happier Mom and better able to fulfill the kids' needs. On the other hand, if I put off taking care of myself and first fulfill the kids' needs, they are happy to let me go take care of myself afterward. Somebody has to be an adult here, and it probably won't be them. So I try really hard not to think about anything I want to do in the morning (shower, read my scriptures, exercise, get on the computer, read, etc.) until after the kids are fed, dressed, dishes are done, house is tidy, and we have had family scriptures and story (or "school") time, which includes practicing reading with Beth). I have found that if I let the kids just coast on auto-pilot in the morning while I do what I want, I end up impatient with them while I am trying to focus on myself. They are crying and fighting. They are bored. And by the time I finish taking care of myself--not even feeling refreshed afterward, and feeling like my kids are a pain in the neck--the kids are unhappy, and I am unhappy. The new routine has been working pretty well, though it is still a challenge to totally put off my own needs for the first 3 hours of the day. And I do allow myself the liberty of using the bathroom.

(What's the deal with all the parenthesis? I can't spit out what I want to say without interrupting myself in the middle of every sentence?)

I am currently reading "City Boy" by Herman Wouk. So good. I laugh out loud on every page. It is about a 12-year old boy named Herbie Bookbinder. He is fat, he is Jewish, and he is in love with the beautiful Lucille Glass of class 7-3B. He loves to eat, he loves to read, and he hates Lenny Krieger the class bully. Sounds a little juvenile now that I write it out, but it is written with a greater perspective on youth, and the writer's wit and word choice is unparalleled.

I made these today. Whoa, doggy. They were good.

Oh. I probably never mentioned why I haven't been blogging much. And, although this shouldn't really seem like a valid reason, well, it is the reason.

In August, we had some new tenants move into our basement:
Oh, and um....

and.....

and last, but not least:

Our friends the Jensens. Could fate have smiled more brightly upon us (and frowned so sourly upon them)?!

We have been friends with Nels and Suzy since before we were married. Nels and James are business partners: they started Williamsburg Academy together. The Jensens have been in Austin, Texas for the last year while Nels was attending Acton School of Business. Then they decided to move back here so that James and Nels could continue to build Williamsburg. Since we didn't know, and indeed never know, what the finances for the business are going to look like until we know what enrollment looks like just before the beginning of the semester in the fall, we decided to play it safe and bunk up together for a while until Williamsburg can support us all a little bit better (we are seeing a fragment of light at the end of the tunnel, and things look hopeful for fall of this year). Our basement is a 2-bed 1-bath rental. Just like upstairs, except with no windows, and with wood paneling and popcorn ceilings. :)

So while there are definite drawbacks to the situation (mostly for the cramped Jensen family), there have been a multitude of movie/game nights, Ben & Jerry's, and sewing projects. And when James and Nels travel together for business, Suzy and I keep each other company. And it is soooo nice. In fact, they are traveling now, and Suzy and I are going to sew a skirt tonight. And get some frozen yogurt from the health food store.

So the reason I haven't been blogging as much is because I usually always have a friend around to talk to. To share my troubles and joys, laughter and tears..... well, usually just laughter.

And, looks like this is going to be another semi-coherent, disjointed blog post which will end abruptly because my baby is waking up from his nap and crying.

Cheers.

Close quarters

2010-10-31T18:43:00.001-07:00

The tough thing about having tenants downstairs is that there is always someone listening when you accidentally shout obscenities at the top of your lungs.

Like the time Isaac was standing on top of the toilet while I was getting ready, holding a glass jar of hand cream; and he couldn't resist the temptation of throwing it. Out of the whole bathroom floor, it landed right on my toenail, of course. I grabbed that kid and gently-roughly threw him down on the changing pad on my bed and yanked his pants off--to find that they were full from ankle to hip with poop. The bands around the ankles of those sweatpants were holding on for dear life, but apparently let fly a few souvenirs. All up and down my hall rug. And in the bathroom. Add to this that I was still running around in my underwear at this point on a Sunday morning when we were late for church. Awesome. That one was the D word, if you were wondering. And it was when that glass jar hit my toenail, to be right honest. Turns out the sermon for that day just happened to be entitled "School Thy Feelings."

Or the time I was in the shower, had been in there a full 90 seconds already without interruption, when Isaac came in and opened the curtain. No big deal, I just closed it. Then he put his head under the outer curtain and started pulling the inner curtain outside the tub so the water was leaking onto the floor. I yanked it closed again and was trying to hold it to the wall with my foot while I lathered up some face wash. Got that taken care of, only to open my eyes and find him opening the other side. I was trying to extremely-cheerfully-on-the-border-of-furiously recommend that he go in the living room and play. Well, he let me close the curtain, at which point I quickly got some shampoo and scoured my scalp, then risked closing my eyes to wash out my hair, knowing the boy could still be nearby. Turns out he was nearby, and he took the opportunity while my eyes were closed of sticking just his little hand, silently into the shower and turning the knob for cold water completely off. I opened my eyes to see the tail end of what he was doing, and it was like slow motion. I was already halfway through the obscenity, and trying to jump out of the way while simultaneously turning the cold water back on with my foot, right before being scalded to the bone.

Well, I guess anyone who lives beneath us and still likes us are true friends.

Aloha!!

2010-09-02T15:50:00.000-07:00

Wow. I am a lot better at blogging about nothing than I am at blogging about something. Something like, say, the MAJOR-TIME AWESOME summer event of the YEAR. No, the decade, rather. Our trip to

HAWAII

which started with a long drive to the Las Vegas airport in our close to 20 year old, AC-less Toyota Camry (long, uninteresting story as to how that happened), which seemed bearable at the time but we were really kicking ourselves driving for 3 hours in the July noon-day sun on the way back. (Details include me going into a convenience store bathroom, taking my shirt off and soaking it in the sink, then putting it back on. My face was beet red the whole way back. [I just wanted to tell that part of the story now so that we can end on a good note]) followed by a long wait, a long flight, another long wait, a really long flight, a short drive, and crashing straight into bed in Maui.

Then we woke up early the next morning (and when I say early I mean 3:45, 4-ish) and lounged around for 5 hours, then headed to the

BEACH

And we were pretty excited:

So after a short drive of this:

We ended up roughly, here:

Ahhhh, yeah.

And to be honest I don't remember the exact order we did things in after that, but here's a picture of me before we went to dinner one of those nights. Another reminder to stand up straight or I'll end up with a hunchback:

We went to a happenin' restaurant in Paia called the Paia Fish Market. Don't know if you heard about this big news a while ago, pretty crazy:

We drove and hiked a little bit in the Iao National Park. It was really pretty.

And we had heard tell that watching the sunrise on top of Mount Haleakala was an event not to be missed. So again, we got up early. Maybe 4:30 this time, and drove the hour long drive up the mountain. I can't remember the elevation and I usually embarrass myself when I try to guess by saying like 25,000 feet or something ridiculous. But it was high enough that we were just above the clouds. And it was COOOOLD. But we had fair warning from friends that it would be cold so we brought quilts. We saw many others who were not so fortunate in t=shirts and shorts. That's a shame. Here we are just before the sun peeked over the clouds.

Wow. A picture really doesn't do it justice, but you can imagine seeing this view in a much more panoramic and real-life view.

The road back down the mountain

One of my favorite events was the Old Lahaina Luau, it was so fun! They did dancing and told stories of their heritage, it was all-you-can-eat gourmet Hawaiian food and open bar, which you still pay for even if you don't drink :(, and it was just a good, good time. The Hawaiian people are so friendly and good at bringing others into their culture.

We took a 2-day trip to Hana, the other side of Maui. The side we stayed on was more dry and deserty, but the road to Hana was another world. We couldn't stop ourselves from taking a hundred pictures. I'll just give a few highlights.

Our sweet ride. Did I mention that we stayed in the home of a woman James baptized on his mission, and she was traveling on the mainland at the time? Well, we did. And we also used her nice car. She was so generous. We camped in the back of this car on our Hana road trip.

My personal quest on this trip was to get a cool picture of one of the beat-up curvy road signs with the green scenery flashing on the sides.

But as you can see, you rarely go above 15 miles an hour on this road because it is so curvy. Lots of people get sick so we brought a ginger root to suck on, which helped. There were waterfalls everywhere right next to the road, and lots of one-lane bridges where you have to yield to oncoming traffic. It was a real adventure!

More views stepping out of the car:

This part is out of order, but at the end of our Hana trip we visited the Seven Sacred Pools, which were so refreshing after swimming in salt water for a week. They are fresh and cold, and each pool empties into a lower one and then finally out into the ocean, seen here:

James cliff jumped where that man is standing. The water is pretty deep.

This was a crazy tree we saw where it would just send roots straight down out of the branches 10 or 20 feet down into the ground. Crazy tree.

This is Hamoa Beach, one of our favorites and very secluded because it's on the less-populated side of the island where Hana is.

Our spot:

We discovered a few games on the i-phone while there:

Enjoying a passion fruit from a local fruit stand:

Wish you could see where we are really parked in this picture. Here's the story and I'll try to make it short. The fruit stand where we got the passion fruit. The lady who runs the stand talked to us for a few minutes and found out we were LDS. So she sent us down the street for lunch at the home of one of the few LDS families in the area. They run a plate lunch business in their front yard. We went and ate lunch there, and they invited us to a ward potluck that night. That was fun! Then they found out we were camping, and called their friend who has property right on the ocean to see if we could camp in her yard. She agreed, and in this picture, our car is backed up against a cliff edge, maybe 15 feet away, and we slept in the back of the car listening to the sound of the ocean all night. And I mean all night, because I didn't get much sleep what with the bugs and all. But it was incredible.

Hana

Red sand beach! (We saw a nudist here, te hee hee!)

The plate lunch place I mentioned before at the home of the LDS family:

Black sand beach!

On the black sand beach there was this cool cave that you enter from the side I'm standing on to take the picture, and it opens up right where the ocean tumbles in. But mostly I just thought James looked so handsome in this picture, which was why I included it.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Paradise.

If you still check my blog these days, thanks for having faith in me. Hopefully now that I have this post off the to-do list I'll feel more excited about going back to blogging about nothing.

Out.

Toot toot!!! Toot toot!!!

2010-06-20T15:48:00.001-07:00

Ah yes, I'd know that sound anywhere. That's the sound of me tooting my own horn.

And that's because I have some recent me monster fodder.

I am now a triathlete.

Yes, I know we've waited long for this day of victory, my friends.

This was the course:
Swim- 1/2 mile
Bike- 14 miles (lots of hills)
Run- 5k (3-ish miles)

My goals were four-fold, one for each event and one overall. Overall, I wanted my time to be under 2 hours. And for each event: Swim: don't die. Bike ride: don't walk bike up the wicked hill. Run: don't walk.

And the results? I didn't die. I didn't walk my bike up the hill, even though I passed 3 or 4 people walking their bikes up it--and I wasn't riding much faster than they were walking. But I DID walk for a few minutes, to my sore disappointment. It was just too much for a weak soul such as myself. That long, slight incline on a hot day, after already swimming half a mile and biking 14, was more than I could do. BUT, my total time: 1:53:18. WOO! (In Office Linebacker Terry Tate's voice--even found one without swearing.)

It was harder than I bargained for, even after all the training. I wanted to charge across the finish line (the finishing stretch was uphill--so cruel) with vigor and unsurpassed awesomeness. I had imagined that moment all through my training. It would be the pinnacle of my athletic career. The crowds would be going wild. Sweat would be dripping from my undaunted brow as I pressed on, the hero and the inspiration of the onlookers. "Chariots of Fire" would be blaring on a loudspeaker as my muscular, un-lurpy legs plowed across the finish line for the glory of love.

Instead I got passed by a 50 year old lady going twice as fast as me right before the finish line. She usurped my glory and left me, stripped of my family honor, to humbly creep across the finish line at a slow canter, and crumple in an undignified, sweaty heap. James, of course, was ready, video camera in hand, for the post-race interview. Instead of coming up with something inspiring and witty to say, I huffed, "I'm just glad it's over." Then later wheezed, "that was harder than I thought."

But besides my exaggerated replay of the finishing stretch, I must admit that I am very satisfied and proud of myself. It was uncharacteristic of me to accomplish a physical feat such as this. And besides the discipline and endurance it took to train for and complete the race, I also went over a month without sugar previous to the race (which was later modified to exclude things like ketchup, ranch, miracle whip, salad dressing, etc.). But don't worry, I'm now trying desperately to recover my post-partum figure by wolfing down some swedish fish as I compose this.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, it was a great experience.

And the experience wouldn't have been complete without the unsung hero in all of this: James. He was the one pushing me out the door when I was feeling guilty for leaving him with the kids the minute he got home from work, saying, "don't worry about us, we'll be fine! Go! Work hard!" And invariably, I would come home to a clean house, sleeping children, and a happy, supportive husband. He has taught me so many times how to be a supportive spouse. I need things like this for him to remind me about that skill. His unflagging support lasted not only until race day, but until our exhausted family pulled into the drive way at 11:30 a.m. and he said, "you go shower and take a nap. I'll unload the van and watch the kids." Oh, I love that man.

Here are a few more pictures. My friends Jenny and Tiffany. Tiff got a medal, I believe, coming in 3rd overall, and 1st in our division.

Me, looking pregnant in my wetsuit.
The swim.
Coming out of the water.
Running up the dock.
Transitioning between swimming and biking.

At this point in the race, I lost my time chip, which was strapped around my ankle, when I peeled off my wetsuit. I didn't notice I had lost it, and left it in the transition area when I went for the bike ride. I realized it was gone while biking, and strapped it back on for the run. It was a bummer because the chip couldn't tell me how long my transitions or my bike ride were exactly because it was left in the parking lot. It still told my overall time since I managed to recover it for the run. Still. Bummer.
Finishing the bike ride.

Approaching the finish line.

Closer....
After we all finished (courtesy of Jenny's blog). Tiff, Jenny, me, Jamie. Jamie ran the race with us, though she only trained with us a little bit. It was her first Tri as well and she did great, despite the unexpected death of her sister a week before the race. Wow.Kind supporters included my parents, Stef and Jan & family, Jenny's, Tiff's, and Jamie's families, and other kind cheerleaders along the way.

It was fun. Except for the part that I thought I would leave in a body cast in an ambulance. The rest was fun.

FAQs

2010-06-08T16:52:00.000-07:00

Hello friends. Sorry I am so unpredictable.

W HA-BAAM!

Bet you didn't see that one coming.

Okay a few items of business:

Q: Are you still alive?

A: Yes.

Q: Are you pregnant?

A: No.

Q: Why haven't you updated your blog?

A: For a myriad of reasons, really. Not the least of which is training for my Triathlon (which is this Saturday!), which has sapped a lot of my evening time.

Q: What's the deal with that wart on your foot that keeps getting bigger and bigger?

A: I have tried everything. It has been there for ten long years. TEN. It has been frozen off, duct taped, nail polished, Dr. Scholls-ed... you name it. I'm beginning to feel like I have a heinous and grotesque Siamese twin.

Well, you asked.

Q: How is cloth diapering going?

A: Good. Reeeaaal good. I'm saving the planet one dry heave at a time.

But seriously. Good.

Q: When will you finish your kitchen? (shaking me by the collar) WHEN?!!

A: Never!! We just haven't had time to work on it! Life has been crazy. CRAZY! How oft I have wished I could freeze time and children for 2 weeks. Two full weeks. Then I could really tackle my to-do list. But every time we get into a project, I realize that I can only neglect the kids and help out for about 20 minutes before someone needs to start worrying about lunch, doing the dishes afterwards, changing diapers, breaking up fights, putting a band-aid on someone, wiping someone's bottom, answering the phone, putting kids down for naps, etc., etc.

Q: What is the state of your household right now?

A: Beets is in the kitchen eating Beth's breakfast from off the floor, where he spilled it; Beth and Josh are coming up with a pretend game (as their plan "B" after I said no to a movie); I am in my pajamas, the kitchen is a mess, my running shoes still sit beside me from where I kicked them off last night in exhaustion, and refusal to do anything else that night, and my to-do list looms before my eyes, effectively making me feel guilty for blogging.

Q: Hey, your body looks amazing, how did your body get so good?

A: Okay, I get this question aaallllllll the time. Seriously people, it's getting annoying. Remember this? All you need to know.

Q: Is it true that yesterday you were riding your bike, and you came to a standstill to get a drink, and when you came to a complete stop you forgot your feet were buckled in and you fell over with your feet attached to the pedals, making an embarrassing squawk/scream on your way down?

A: Yes. Yes it is.

Q: Do you have anything inspiring or even non-embarrassing to say?

A: I'll think about that one.

If you thought I was granola before...

2010-05-04T20:01:00.000-07:00

Then hear this! I finally made the plunge:

*Disclaimer: if you don't want to read a lengthy, detailed monologue about diapers, this post will not be your favorite.

I have always felt a little guilty that I have personally contributed probably 8,000+ diapers to landfills. Not super guilty, but a little guilty. And I have always felt a little uneasy about the amount of money we spend on diapers and wipes. It's probably up in the thousands by now. And hey, sometimes I even feel a little bit cruel when I put a disposable diaper on my baby's poor, bleeding bottom and know that that little bottom would heal much more quickly if it were in a breathable fabric instead of a plastic diaper.

But I have always felt a little bit not good about scraping poop off of fabric and changing twice as many diapers during the day and having huge diapers that my kids' clothes won't fit over and having more leaks and more laundry and less time yada yada yada.

Okay, so you want the full story? I know you're dying to hear it.

I bought some cloth diapers when Beth was a baby. Actually, when Beth was an older baby and Josh was a few months old. We were going through insane amounts of diapers. So I went off of a recommendation of one mom who used some cloth diapers.

And they were awful. First of all, they were HUUUUUUUUUUUGE. I literally could not fit her clothes on over them. And if I could squeeze her into her larges pair of pants, she couldn't bend at the hips. And then the whole keeping-rubber-gloves-by-the-toilet-and-dunking-soiled-diapers-in-the-toilet-and-splashing-them-around-while-flushing-and-then-wringing-out-poopy-sopping-cloth-and-throwing-them-all-in-a-wet-stinky-bucket-which-my-toddler-was-always-trying-to-play-with thing just wasn't working out. Yeah, that whole thing. It just wasn't.... me. Add to that the fact that they leaked more than disposable diapers, and the deal was, well, off.

So I had a bunch of cloth diapers that I had wasted$150 on and felt guilty for not using, and then going out and spending MORE money on disposables.

Needless to say, I was reluctant to make that plunge again, unless I knew I was absolutely committed. And I knew I had to find a system that worked. And I was probably not going to find that system for less than about, say, $17.95 per diaper.

But, since I know you are really dying to know the deets here, let me tell you about this system. Because I think it really will work.

And I failed to mention that when I bought all those other diapers, I bought one--just one--Fuzzi Bunz diaper, just to try it out. And that thing is a quality piece of workmanship.

So I bought 12 more Fuzzi Bunz diapers.

And 18 cloth wipes, which I will spray with a homemade solution made of:

2 cups distilled water
2 Tbsp. olive oil
2 Tbsp. baby wash
A few drops tea tree oil

which I will wipe that sweet bottom with.

Then I will take soiled diaper, once change is complete, and I will spray it off with my sink sprayer which James is going to attach to the plumbing on our toilet, as seen here (don't watch unless you are actually interested, because it's kind of boring):

Then I will simply throw the diaper into this, which will be hanging on the back of my bathroom door on a hook:

And when it comes time for washing, I simply take the whole bag, dump the diapers out into the washer, bag in too, and run the load.

And guess what? My one Fuzzi Bunz cloth diaper that I already own is awesome. It prevents leaks at least as well as a disposable, it has like 300 different snaps so that you can get an exact custom fit every time (fuzzi bunz even carries a diaper that they say will fit your kid from birth to potty training), and they are not bulky at all. You can't even tell they are wearing cloth when their clothes are on. And when you put them to bed, you can just stick an extra insert into the diaper for overnight absorbency. And when I take a wet diaper off (provided it's not sopping) my baby's skin still feels dry. Suppposedly you don't need diaper rash cream at all when you use cloth diapers.

So, we are in. And I told myself, as long as I use them until I have recouped the cost of the initial purchase compared to what I would have spent on disposable diapers anyway, it's sixes financially. And I will have done the environment a little favor. But I have a feeling I'm really going to like these.

Toy Horsies

2010-05-04T12:34:00.000-07:00

James likes to sing our kids sad, sad songs at bedtime. I don't understand it, really. Like the song about Poor Little Joe, the abandoned waif of a child who ultimately perishes from starvation and exposure, reprinted here for your sadistic pleasure:

While strolling one night, thru New York City's gay throng
I met a poor boy who was singing a song
Although he was singing he wanted for bread
And though he was smiling, he wished himself dead

Cold blew the blast and down came the snow
He had no place to shelter him, nowhere to go
No Mother to guide him, in the grave she lay low
Cast on the cold street was poor little Joe

A carriage passed by with a lady inside
I looked on poor Joe's face and saw that he cried
He followed the carriage, she not even smiled
But fondly caressed her own darling child

I looked on this waif and I thought it was odd
Is this poor, ragged urchin forgotten by God
Then I saw by the lamplight that shone on the snow
The pale deadly features of, poor little Joe.

Or the song "Two little boys:"

Two little boys had two little toys

Each had a wooden horse
Gaily they played each summer's day
Warriors both of course
One little chap then had a mishap
Broke off his horse's head
Wept for his toy then cried with joy
As his young playmate said

Did you think I would leave you crying
When there's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Jack and don't be crying
I can go just as fast with two
When we grow up we'll both be soldiers
And our horses will not be toys
And I wonder if we'll remember
When we were two little boys

Long years had passed, war came so fast
Bravely they marched away
Cannon roared loud, and in the mad crowd
Wounded and dying lay
Up goes a shout, a horse dashes out
Out from the ranks so blue
Gallops away to where Joe lay
Then came a voice he knew

Did you think I would leave you dying
When there's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Joe, we'll soon be flying
I can go just as fast with two
Did you say Joe I'm all a-tremble
Perhaps it's the battle's noise
But I think it's that I remember
When we were two little boys

Do you think I would leave you dying
There's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Joe, we'll soon by flying
Back to the ranks so blue
Can you feel Joe I'm all a tremble
Perhaps it's the battle's noise
But I think it's that I remember
When we were two little boys

And they both have these lilting, woeful melodies. It's like, (insert goblin-like voice here) "nighty-night, children, sweet dreams!!!" *cruel chuckle*

And the thing I don't get is that our kids BEG for these songs every night. Just like James begged his Mom when he was a kid. Why??? Do they enjoy feeling their hearts swell with grief? Maybe.

But the point is, something good did come out of all this, and it was a little moment of laughter for me, when Josh came up to me on his stick pony a few days ago, and was quite for just a moment as he looked pensively at his pony. And then,

"Mom?"

"Yeah buddy?"

"When I gwow up, wiw my hoassie stiww be a toy?" (when I grow up, will my horsie still be a toy?)

(Refer to this part of the song:
When we grow up we'll both be soldiers
And our horses will not be toys
And I wonder if we'll remember
When we were two little boys)

Priceless.

The Ross Sisters: 1944

2010-04-22T13:18:00.000-07:00

When I was young I got lots of attention because I could get on my hands and knees and touch my head with my toes.

Let's just say I don't feel so cool anymore after watching...... this:

Shower

2010-04-21T10:36:00.001-07:00

I took a shower with the light off this morning. It was a rainy, dark morning outside. Oh, it was so nice. My worries all went down the drain with the water. My awareness narrowed to shut out what was going on outside that little shower. The past and the future were beautifully eclipsed by the present. The congestion from my almost-head-cold evaporated into the misty darkness. I kept turning the water just slightly hotter, then just slightly hotter again, until it was almost burning me, but not quite. I enjoyed what is known as the hot-water stupor. This is also enjoyed when getting into a hot tub, just after your body gets over the shock, you go into the hot-water stupor of bliss. After a few minutes of this, I felt satisfied, and ready to turn off the water. My awareness gradually expanded and I re-acknowledged that I had left Isaac in his high chair with banana goop on his hands, face, and hair. And Josh had wet the bed last night and needed to be bathed. And the breakfast dishes were in the sink and I needed to make my bed.

But oh, what a difference that shower made.

Quick Update

2010-03-31T19:29:00.001-07:00

Quick because it's 8:29 p.m., the kids are in bed and this time of day is most precious.

Unfortunately, there's a pox upon the Bear. Chicken pox, to be precise, upon the Buddy Bear. He is doing a heroic job at not scratching, and takes great comfort in oatmeal baths and "magic pink lotion." Poor guy, they are all over his torso, all over his face, scalp, ears, even inside his mouth; and a few scattered here and there on his limbs, which I imagine will increase in the next few days. Most of them are still just little red dots, but a few of them have become large blisters. I imagine tomorrow they'll start erupting and in the next few days they'll scab over. I got him a prize--a ball-attached-to-paddle thing--for having chicken pox. And it's already broken. We had a long night last night, followed by a long day today. I hope there are not too many more nights/days of this ahead. And I am nervous for what may happen if Isaac gets it.

Other things that have happened lately:
-James and I had a ham and bean soup-making competition. And HE WON!!!! His clearly tasted better
-I'll never live that one down
-Beth told me today: "We're VERY rich!!!!! Because we have lots of dollars!"
-Beets took his first steps on Sunday. :) :)
-I lost control of myself because I was so excited
-James and I started watching "Roots," which, to be honest, I wasn't super excited about since I have memories of being sick after watching a short segment of that when I was a young lass. I didn't do well with the concept of inhumanity.
-And still don't.
-But it was actually not too bad. At least the first segment.
-And being a movie about slavery, which still happens to be an emotionally-charged issue in America today, it led to a lengthy, late-night discussion about the impact slavery is still having for Americans.
-I brought up lots of smart, intellectual points. And James said, "you are so smart, that's why I married you. Come, let us dance like children of the night."
-I bought Easter baskets, treats, eggs, yellow Easter grass and a few toys. And it made me happy.
-James is re-designing his school website, and is so far very pleased with the results.
-The bad news is, when James gets going on something, you can't pry him away with all the steak dinners and promises of good things to come that you can think of. So he has been very busy.
-But he keeps saying, and I keep believing him, "I can feel the break-through coming. I can feel it. It's just around the corner."
-And he's been saying that for about 2 years now.
-But I think he's right.

And now it's time to finish the first segment of Roots and have a very enlightened and insightful discussion about the black/white situation.

And hopefully I will have a post up soon which I have been working on (not very hard) about "The ick factor."

That's all for now. Away with you.

Leslie's Transformation

2010-03-22T20:19:00.001-07:00

A friend of mine recently did Bill Phillip's Transformation. That is an understatement, though. She transformed herself so thoroughly that he made a seven minute video about her! And I thought it was so cool that I had to share. Check it out.

Leslie’s Transformation Video / Bill's posts / Bill Phillips Transformation

Posted using ShareThis

I am trying hard not to judge...

2010-03-12T08:37:00.000-08:00

This woman.

Food

2010-03-11T14:20:00.000-08:00

We all eat it. We all feed it to our children. We all know that the basis of our diet should consist of WHOLE (not broken down, processed, and re-injected back into "fortified" processed products) grains, fruits, vegetables, clean proteins, and good fats like fish and nuts.

I try not to think about some of the things I am giving my kids to eat. The processed cereals, the high-fructose corn syrup, the MSG, the sodium-loaded snacks, and the list goes on. I usually go through cycles where we eat tons of fruits and veggies, whole grains, less sugar; and then cycles where I turn a blind eye and figure it's not that big of a deal. The ease and convenience of whipping out a go-gurt instead of cutting up an apple appeals to me. And I'll just admit it: we are addicted to processed foods.

But I think, overall, we are getting better. We keep taking two steps forward, and falling one step back.

The truth is, there are SOOOO many areas in which I want to improve, that sometimes food takes a back seat. I want to be a more faithful exerciser. I want to do better at reading scriptures and other good books every day. I want to learn about photography and embroidering. I want to do outdoor activities together. Be a better visiting teacher. Have a clean house. Be more organized. Budget better. Be more thoughtful about sending birthday cards. Spend much, much more quality time with my children.

But the call is coming more and more often these days. The warning signs are becoming more and more obvious to me, and healthy eating is slowly crawling closer to the top of my priority list. Watch this video. It's 10 minutes long, but it is so worth 10 minutes.

I found a blog today that rocks my world. As if I need another excuse to get on the computer. Here it is: http://www.lazyorganizer.com This lady is a mom who home schools her kids, is super organized, takes awesome pictures, and tries really hard to feed her family wholesome foods. Oh, I love her. It was one of her posts that really got me thinking about food today, right here if you want it. If you want to get motivated to eat better, read her post. It's where I found the video. Also if you want to be motivated to be a better mother, look around her blog. She has lots of great ideas.

As for me, I think I'll make something green and leafy for dinner tonight.

Wild Weekend

2010-03-09T13:15:00.000-08:00

Classic Moments in a Weekend With the Ure Family: A Compendium of Limericks (in honor of St. Patty's Day)

Twas a sad day when first we arrived,
Of a cozy bed we were deprived.
As our air mattress dwindled,
My anger was kindled,
But luckily, folks, I survived.
(.... kidding about the anger being kindled, no "hard" feelings, heh heh ;)

On a fun-filled and crazy March weekend,
My brother-in-law saw my rear end.
He blurted, "Oh, Angela!"
I squealed, "Aye, carrumba!"
On that fun-filled and crazy March weekend.

Ne'er a shortage of screamin' and gigglin'
And those crazy kids yellin' and fiddlin'
Always noxious gas passin'
In-laws are assassins!
Next time I'm bringin' Beano and Ritalin!

Life

2010-02-26T09:59:00.001-08:00

I have been good at posting pictures lately, don't you think? It has been a packed month, full of good clean fun. For Josh's birthday, I made him a crude rendering of a red cape. I just bought some fabric, had at it with some scissors and sewed the edges on the machine. I also got him a sword and that stick horse you saw in the pictures. He loved it. He got a firetruck from the Millers, which he also loves. Sadly, that is the toy that has taken the most hits and is now only a skeleton of the firetruck it once was. Okay, skeleton is exaggerating, but the ladder did break off.

Wednesday was James' birthday, and we didn't take ANY pictures. I told him we'll have to reenact it later today and get a picture. I got him a watch, some slippers, and an ear/nose-hair trimmer (HIS request). I made another ice cream cake with a chips ahoy cookie crust, and cookie dough and vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce and twix in the middle. It was good, but not as good as the grasshopper.

Moving right along. Now, in regards to James' and my fitness competition, referenced a few months ago.... you may be wondering what is going on with that. Well, the deadline was February 15. That would have been 3 months. But James had been so busy that for the last month he didn't get to the gym at all. And since I was not overly thrilled with my own personal results, I granted him an extension. Now the deadline is March 15. Coming right up. So far I have lost a grand total of 5 pounds, 3 of which I have gained back. Pretty discouraging. The trouble is, exercise is only half of it, and the other half is in the diet area. I think we eat nourishing, healthy things most of the time, but I just have such a big appetite! I don't feel like I over-eat, but I do eat a lot. Should I not eat until I am satisfied? Is that what you're supposed to do? Of course, birthday month and all the treats involved haven't helped much. Maybe if I just lay off having 3 desserts a day....... just maybe......... But I have definitely seen improvement in the pictures so far. After all, weight isn't everything. I have done a little firming up in the mid-section.

Speaking of fitness goals, I haven't gone public with this yet..... I am planning (hoping) on doing a triathlon in the summer games in June. It is only half the distance of an actual Olympic Tri, which means it's a half mile swim, 8-ish mile bike ride, and a 5k run (a little over 3 miles). Compared to what a lot of my friends have done (marathons....), this isn't that significant of a physical feat, but it is a huge thing for me. First of all, 6 months ago I didn't even know how to swim. At all. I have been going to the SUU pool with my friends Jenny and Tiffany in the mornings and learning how to swim. It will be a miracle in itself if I can swim half a mile. Good thing the swim is first. The bike ride I am not too worried about, that should be a walk in the park. The 5k I am just hoping to be able to run the whole way, and not walk. I can certainly make it walking, but anybody can do that. If I pull this off, it will be a land mark in goal setting and achieving in my life. I have never been a real go-getter. It feels good to be working towards something bigger than me.

One final item of business. Ladies. And gentlemen. Guess what? I haven't used deodorant in a week. Okay, whoa, calm down. I read somewhere that you can use rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball instead. So I've been trying it, and I love it! Sure, it smarts a little if you have a shaving nick (which is good for that little cut anyway) (and yes........ I still shave my underarms, I haven't gone that far into the realm of the hippy........ yet ;), but I feel so much cleaner than if I had just pasted some deodorant on there. I imagine body odor is the result of bacteria or something..... and the alcohol just kills anything that might be living in there. I have even worked out a few times later in the day and haven't noticed anything amiss. And if I sweat a little more one day, I just swab again later in the day, just like I might re-apply deodorant. Only now it seems gross to me to re-apply deodorant when I start to question the status under there. It' s like just spraying perfume on when you need a shower. Alcohol, peeps. Because I don't care for colonies of anything living in my armpits, with or without deodorant to disguise it. Besides, most of us know that anti-perspirent is just a fancy name for little bits of aluminum that clog your pores so you won't sweat, and that's not good for anybody. Besides, it's not sweat that stinks, it's bacteria. And it's good for you to sweat within reason. Alcky. Try it.

I should really be using this time while the kids are at a friend's to plan my sharing time lesson for Sunday. Ahhh, Sundays. Let's be honest, my favorite time of the week is when church is over and I know it will be another week until I have to face it again. And every week on Saturday I think, no way, no way it's already been a week and tomorrow is Sunday again. Basically every Sunday goes like this. Wake up at 7:15 and know I'm going to have to book it to make it to church by 9. Make breakfast. James gets ready, snarfs down some breakfast and rushes out the door for his meetings which begin at 7:30. I feed the kids and eat, then fly into the shower, get dressed, and get 3 kids dressed. Do Beth's hair. Do my hair. James is home. It's time to go. He's mad because we're late again. We're always late! He's going to start waking me up at 6:30 because we can just never get there on time and he hates being late places......... We jump in the car and everyone is mad and we walk into church 5 minutes late. I wrestle with Isaac for 10 minutes and then take him out for the rest of Sacrament meeting. Walk 2 miles in laps around the cultural hall with Isaac in stroller. James takes him the next hour. Ahhhh, blessed rest. I watch the clock during the final hour and procrastinate going to find James and take Isaac back. Church ends. I gather the 3 kids from various corners of the building and try to keep them from starting a circus in the cultural hall while we wait for James to finish talking to people so we can go home and eat lunch. We go home and eat lunch. Usually takes an hour and a half because we have to clean up the wreck from the morning. Eat lunch, put the kids down, lie down for1 hour during which time we receive text messages, phone calls, and brief visitors conducting church business. James leaves at 3:30 to go have his meetings and visits. (He is Elder's Quorum President.) He gets home at 6 or 7. We spend an hour or two together. It's over. But the good news is, this phase where Sundays are crazy doesn't late very long. In 5 months Isaac will be in nursery, and that will make all the difference. And I really do love the gospel and it is all worth it to me. It's just that church is hard right now.

Why do I always end up ranting? Sorry. Let's end on a good note. Let's all sit back and enjoy this youtube video.

Until next time.

Josh's B-day

2010-02-25T20:08:00.000-08:00

Here are the festivities.

Don't you think these bubble pictures are cool?! Baby bubble bath makes for some great hand bubble blowing. It's what I do pretty much the whole time Isaac is bathing.

Please be a dear and...

2010-02-16T18:29:00.000-08:00

answer the poll. I am getting my feet wet in this poll business and I think it has a lot of possibilities...... Accordingly, you may find a new poll from time to time. Just for fun. This first one is to get sort of a count for how many people read this blog. Since I have never figured out the whole google analytics thing. Don't worry, it's anonymous. :)

B. Bear Ure

2010-02-15T13:35:00.000-08:00

Let me tell you about my Bear. He is 3 today. His full name is Buddy Bear Ure, but he often goes by such names as "pal," "Baby Bear," "Bear," and even "Josh." He loves his "twain bwankie," sucks his thumb like it's going out of style, and says nary a word to anyone unless they are in our family, or very dear friends. He loves his Beets. And he likes the Boopers girl. He is a cuddly little guy, and sighs repeatedly in contentment when he is cuddling on the couch with Mommy or Daddy. He is easy to please, and very excited that today is his birthday.

Once upon a time, this was our family:
And we were happy.

But then three years ago, there was new life. And our family grew:
And there was great rejoicing.

Because after all, what would we do without Buddy Bear?
Happy Birthday to Joshie boy!

Another I-Can't-Pick-Just-One-Thing-To-Blog-About Post

2010-02-11T19:51:00.000-08:00

My parents came to town last weekend. As you know, Isaac's birthday was on Friday. But as you may or may not know, Rebekah's (on the left, pictured with sister Jane and Grandpa) birthday was on Saturday. How convenient! But wait, it gets better. Sunday is Valentine's day, of course. Then Monday is Josh's birthday. Then 9 days later is James's birthday. (And this isn't even counting James's twenty-odd brothers/father whose birthdays are also in February.) Then a few weeks after that is our anniversary. Let the good times roll!

So, I made an awesome grasshopper pie:

which was enjoyed by the birthday boy:

.....and by the rest of us. (Thanks for taking pictures, Mom!) And though he didn't know it was his birthday, he was probably still like, "hey, how come we don't do this:
more often?" I think he had a good day.

So then a couple days later it was Jeff's birthday (James' brother), pictured here:

Ha ha, I copied this picture from facebook, I'm sure he'd be really excited if he knew that. Though, this picture would definitely be way better if I photo-shopped it so that he had the tail of a merman. And a conversation bubble off to the right of his face that said, "Follow me and I will take you to the kingdom of the mer-people!"

Anywho, since he lives in Cedar we thought it would be appropriate to whip up a birthday cake. But since we are all eating so much sugar this month already I opted for a healthy cake. Whole wheat flour, raw sugar (I almost used honey which also would have worked, but we happened to have the raw sugar on hand), and the like. And I would like to share with you the recipe (tweaked to my liking) for the frosting because it is so unique and delicious. Get this:

Healthy chocolate frosting
1 large banana (I used 2 small bananas)
1/2 cup honey
1/4 cup butter
1/2 cup cocoa powder
3/4 cup powdered milk

Beat banana, honey and butter until smooth and creamy. Add other ingredients and beat well. Spread on cooled cake.

And it was soooooo good. The best part was, I could eat like 8 times as much cake as I usually eat because it was healthy. ;)

It looked good too. I ran to grab the camera to take a picture but by the time I got back it was too late.
That's how good it was.

So we ate cake and celebrated Jeff's big 22. He is currently "on the market," ladies. Though he may not last long.

And speaking of gluing random items together and spray painting them, let's hear it for Cake Stands, Round 2.

We'll start with the loot, this time from Catholic Thrift, thank you very much (note that I don't think I paid a full dollar for any one item):

The supplies:
And the finished products:

Ahhhh, that was satisfying. Probably more accurate for these smaller versions would be "dessert stands," since I doubt a cake would fit on them.

The other day my neighbor Dot, bless her heart, who is 83 years old, brought small boxes of chocolates for Beth and Josh.......... AGAIN........ forgetting that she had already brought them the same thing a few days before. And not knowing that we are already on a sugar overload. But by the time she exited the premises and I turned around to prevent/assess the damage, it was too late:

And, in unrelated ramblings, here is us on a quick trip to the store. I happened to have the camera with me.

I love that Beth's face is filthy and it was just too much to wipe it before we left, even though I noticed several times.

Speaking of Beth, on Sunday at church she was reciting the article of faith, which was number 2: "We believe that man will be punished for his own sins, and not for Adam's transgression." So I whispered in her ear:

Me: We believe...
Beth (slightly booming into the mic): We believe...
Me: That man will be punished...
Beth: THAT MAN WILL BE PUNISHED!!!

I don't think anyone else noticed the sentence-ending downward inflection of her voice, coupled with the slightly-louder booming voice, but I for one had a hard time composing myself enough to finish the recitation.

Also speaking of Bethany, we got a note from Beth's long lost friend Peter, in the mail. He lives in Texas now, but has not forgotten his sweet Beth. :) The note was Suzy's hasty dictation of Peter's future plans. It says:

Marry Bethany in Salt Lake Temple
(2, scratched out) 3 daughters:
Sethany
Ballerinas
Angela
1 son:
Nonahs
I like her when she dresses up.
I like her face, hair, and when she talks to me.

It is still hanging on our fridge, and Beth has memorized it.

And that's all I have for today.

Again I leave you, confused and alone, trying to make sense of my ramblings. I bid you good day.

p.s. We sold Bella and Theodore and are again a pet-free home. That is all.

B Day

2010-02-05T13:24:00.000-08:00

A lot can happen in a year.

Happy Birthday, Beetsy Boy!

The one Nie

2010-02-03T14:15:00.000-08:00

Doubtless many of you have heard of the famous Stephanie Nielsen, Mormon mommy blogger, mother of 4, Provo resident, and survivor of a horrific plane crash which burned 80% of her body--a.k.a. "Nie Nie," hostess of "The Nie Nie Dialogues."

BUT....... if you haven't, let me be the first to tell you that she is the best. And a great blog to follow. She already had a very popular blog before the plane crash over a year ago. She is loved by Mothers around the nation (maybe the world) for her positive, upbeat, humorous attitude and the way she treasures motherhood. And I heard about her from Katie.

Her most recent entry made me smile, though I enjoy reading all of them. And one of my very favorites is this one. What an amazing woman. She has helped me to see that life is beautiful. Check her out if you haven't.

Winter Festivities, and a Tuesday Night at the Ures

2010-01-26T19:51:00.000-08:00

This is the view out my bedroom window.
For about two weeks in the spring time, that branch is bursting with lilacs, and it is a beautiful sight to behold. I miss spring.

Furthermore, I tend to celebrate holidays a month in advance. In accordance with this quirk, we made some valentine's day cookies. By the time I thought to take a picture, these were the only sad suckers left:

We mailed all the pretty ones to Jared (James's brother) who is serving a mission in California. When I shipped them at the post office, the lady was like, "OK *click, click on the computer*, I can get you overnight delivery with confirmation on this for.... *click click* Thirty-four ninety-eight...." And I was like, "He could probably buy a lot of cookies in California for thirty-four ninety-eight. What's the next option?" She agreed and gave me the 2-3 day priority mail for like 8 bucks. I tried to picture a person who would actually pay $35 to mail homemade cookies across two states. All I came up with was a lady in a mink coat and a hat with a feather in it. And a poodle. Ha ha. Silly lady.

James made this one for me:
And I was like, "thanks."

Additionally, I gave Beets a bath tonight, and got him out. But perhaps the hardest thing for a mother to do is put clothes on her baby. And the reason is twofold: 1) They are squiggly little things, and 2) They are so darn cute in the buff. And for that reason, I was trying to get a picture of my favorite position to adore him in when he's naked, which is when he sits up on his haunches, and I see him from behind, with his cute little bum over his little pink toes, poking out. But all I got was this:
And then he saw me and the next one was this:
Then this (note the cutest baby feet you've ever seen, looking hilariously small compared to his gargantuan melon):
Then this:
And after this I pretty much had no choice but to give him the camera:
Then after a series of unfortunate events including but not limited to: Josh throwing a meltdown tantrum, some unmentionable personal problems and the need to take care of those problems, all while filling up another bath for the other two children, I heard a small crash and some crying coming from the general vicinity of the bathroom, and ran in to find this:
I'm glad my pals Beth and Josh were around to burst into hearty belly laughs upon finding this regrettable situation, because I almost started freaking out when I found him. But, come on, I told myself, that's funny.

Dashing through the snow...

2010-01-26T19:15:00.000-08:00

We had a family sledding activity on Friday afternoon. From getting everyone bundled up, to driving across town to where the hills are, to the sledding activity, to driving back home, I think it totaled one hour. That's 'cause it was COLD outside!

But we still managed to have a good time.
The two of us stayed nice and cozy while watching everyone else sled. For about 5 minutes, until we spent the rest of the time in the car. That wind, while it does make for some nice supermodel hair shots :), had a wind chill factor of a thousand below.

Taking a brief moment to lick away the excess from the runny noses:

My favorite picture of the day by FAR for multiple reasons:
Take 2:
Pretty girl:

I tilted the camera slightly to get the effect that the hill is steeper than it looks, but the first time I tilted it the wrong way, which makes for kind of a funny picture with the olympian pose:
THERE we go:

And we'll just be right here, thank you very much.

Easy craft project: complete..... or is it?

2010-01-20T12:03:00.000-08:00

Someone's nasty old microwave plate from the DI: $1.

Someone's old glass candy dish from the DI: $1
Small tube of E-6000 glue: $5.99 ($3, after my 50% off one item from Robert's coupon). Also, this is just my regular relaxed facial position:
Husband who brings me home my favorite flowers just because, which I then put on our kitchen table, with our newly-painted gray walls in the background: priceless.

Here's the cake plate made from the aforementioned items:

Now here's the question: I had originally planned on painting it white, like the ones in the link from my last post. I have the paint, and some kind of enamel seal to spray over it. But now James thinks I should just leave the clear glass without painting it.

What do you think??? Paint it white or leave it?

And one more quick semi-funny story. While I was shopping at the DI for these items, I made a stink to the manager about the prices at that particular DI. I started by saying, "I know you think people like me are despicable, people who complain about thrift store prices...." Yeah. He did think I was despicable. But COME ON! The prices at this DI are ridiculous! They wanted $4 for a candy dish exactly like the one I bought, only the glass was a murky olive green instead. He was like, "we looked it up on the internet. Colored glass sells for more." Come on. So I was like, "In my opinion, nothing on this shelf (pointing to a shelf full of old mugs, candy dishes, etc.) should be above 50 cents." Then, proudly, "I have done a lot of thrift store shopping, and the prices here are TWICE what every other thrift store charges. Even any other DI."

"That's not true."

"It is true. Las Vegas DI doesn't charge more than $2 for the best condition clothing items, but mostly everything there is a dollar. One time I found a used pair of UNDERWEAR on a hanger at this DI, marked for TWO DOLLARS."

"It should have been one dollar."

*scoff*

"Besides, Las Vegas is a totally different market."

"Okay, then take Catholic Thrift across town. You are charging twice what they're charging."

"Well, you have to understand what we are doing here. We are training people. You have to understand when you shop here, you are paying for us to send trainees through our program."

"That's awesome. Really. But I'm still not paying $4 for an old olive green candy dish, which I'm only buying to paint white and make a cake stand. Even if I'm helping trainees." (After all, we try to pay a generous fast offering every month, and I don't go thrift store shopping to GIVE money away, I go to SAVE money. I know. Crazy.)

"Well, when people can't afford things here, we just give them away."

"Yeah. Well, that's not really the issue. ..... Wait, so do you make up for the things you give away by charging more for all the other things?"

"... No."

By this time Beth and Josh are both stuck inside an old dresser with no top on it, and Josh is crying, "Mommy! Mooooommy!!! Heeeeelp meeee!!"

The guy keeps saying, "you just have to understand, there are a lot of people who are happy with our prices and shop here all the time..."

So I'm like, "Well, OK. I know there are more people like me who are disappointed by the high prices, but if you're right, and there are more people who are happy with the prices, then you can just disregard my complaint. But I personally rarely come here because of the prices."

"Well, you just have to understand....... " yada, yada, yada.

Baby crying with stinky diaper, kids making a mess and getting into everything....

"So, you don't want to sell me the candy dish for a dollar?"

"Come back next week, if it's still here we'll talk."

So, I left it. But he did give me the one pictured above, which was marked for $2, for a dollar. So that's something.

I know it sounds pretty stingy, but thrift store shopping is a fun hobby for me when I can find little treasures for practically nothing. But every time I have looked for clothes for my kids at our local DI, any shirt that is in good condition goes for $4. I can get shirts on a great sale at Old Navy for $4. But apparently everyone but me loves paying $4 for a used child's shirt, and I'm taking crazy pills.

My mistake.

Inspiration

2010-01-17T16:14:00.000-08:00

I have been trying to get inspired about decorating my kitchen. These pictures make my heart sing.

The shelving is what I am looking at in these. We have a large bare wall, and limited storage space. So I like the idea of shelves.

I have been getting excited about being creative lately. I think it's getting to that phase where my baby is a year old and I'm not pregnant again yet. I can sense a change in the wind. I am no longer completely overwhelmed by the simple (ha!) tasks of chef, bus boy, maid, clown, dairy factory, chauffeur, nurse, accountant, and second counselor in the primary presidency.

A year ago, the thought of doing something creative sounded depressing. Now the thought that a year ago doing something creative sounded depressing, sounds depressing. Capiche?

I am currently showing a zesty interest in taking up: embroidery, photography, re-upholstering, interior design, and the art of thrift store shopping and turning dull/ugly things into things spectacular (see exhibit A for my first mission. Also I want to do a similar thing with old picture frames). I am in the business of collecting beautiful things to surround myself with. I used to think I was good at decorating, but now that I look at the way other people do it, I wish I could start all over and do things a little differently in our home remodel. But hey, we are quickly outgrowing this home with 2 people in each bedroom and 1 in the hall closet so.... I'm sure I'll get another shot at creating a beautiful home.

Therapy

2010-01-09T18:17:00.000-08:00

Me here. Currently hunkered down in my room with the door locked on James' laptop having one of "those" episodes. I can hear the havoc on the other side of that blessed door. But I am just chillin out listening to the Weepies. Ahhhhh, the Weepies. Here: I'll show you my two favorite songs by them, if I had to choose.

The videos themselves leave something to be desired, but hey, I thought you might have wondered who Chagall was, so there you go.

In other news, it has been brought to my attention that my readers are "waiting on pins and needles," if the phrase used is correctly quoth, to see how my New Years went this year. After last year's disastrous hosting failure, I am pleased to announce that this year was loads of fun. We had our friends Tim and Kami over. After having learned from last year, we decided that given our personalities, we are more likely to have fun hosting an event if we feel pretty comfortable with whoever we invited. In fact, I generally feel less and less comfortable the more people are at any given event. I just like small gatherings. So, we watched Brian Regan (they hadn't seen it--I know, what?!!), and played some wii skiing (theirs--we have never been cool enough to own a nintendo), and just hung out eating some goodies. Good times.

Christmas was good.

I guess I was overwhelmed about blogging because I didn't want to have to write a novel (including pictures) about the holidays. So... Christmas was a blast. We went down to Stef's and my family came down. We had a St. George Christmas. Part of James' family came over for Christmas Eve, and we had a wonderful time. It was perfect. And we got some new stuff. We like new stuff.

I don't know why posting pictures is such a big deal for me. No, actually I do. It's digging through the box of random cords to find the camera/usb cord, and turning on the camera half the time to find that it's out of batteries and needs charging, waiting for 5 minutes for blogger to upload every set of 5 pictures.... playing the guessing game when trying to write captions by the pictures and hoping the captions actually show up by the pictures.... it usually ends up being like a 2 hour ordeal. And I don't really have 2 hours. Ever.

At this point I would like to mention again that it's really nice to be sitting here on my bed while James gets the kids in pajamas. I just took a deep breath of satisfaction.

Okay, one final thought. Actually, let's call it a mini-tirade. I had a call from a friend the other day. I should say, casual acquaintance. Pretty casual. Let's just call him/her "Pat."

*friendly tune plays on my cell phone*
Me: "Yyyyyello?"
Pat: "Hi, Angela. It's Pat. Listen, can I ask you a huge favor?"
Me (blowing hair dryer into receiver and yelling): "the blue flavor? What? Pat, I think I'm losing you. Hey, try me back next week after I work out the kinks with the phone co--"

And I went back to changing the diaper I was in the middle of.

Okay, I really said:

Me: "Sure! What do you need?"
Pat: "Well... I just purchased a vaccuum cleaner... (you know where this is going, don't you? I didn't.) and I need to get 10 people to just sit through a no-pressure 45-minute sales pitch and then I can get it for cheap/free. Do you have time Friday night or Saturday that she could come over and talk with you?"

I panicked. This is near the top of my pet peeve list. I know every situation is different, and I don't mean to make anyone feel bad if you have asked your friends to do something like this, or participated in some kind of MLM. But I can't hold it in. It is a pet peeve. But yet I answered:

Me: "Uhhhh... I think I could do it Saturday.... maybe around eleven..."
Pat: "Perfect! Oh--uh, your husband also has to be there."
Me (while my stomach is writhing and I'm thinking he is really, REALLY not going to like this. I shouldn't get him into this without asking him first.... but she has me in a corner!): "Ummm, sure! That shouldn't be a problem.... he's usually here...."
Pat: "Great! See you Saturday!"

(Deep breath, brief break to crack back and elbows)

I want all of you to know that I am not keeping a list of my relationships as if they are reward points to be cashed in at the most profitable opportunity. And even though I still like people who participate in this kind of marketing (really I do, I have lots of friends who do similar things and I know that they are my friend not only for my business. Besides, some of these types of businesses are far less offensive to me than other types), I will never, NEVER cash in on relationships for personal gain. It is just not something I am willing to do. I mean, what's the difference between this request and saying, "hey, I just bought a vacuum I can't afford.... unless I get 10 friends to chip in just 20 bucks. Do you mind?" And hey, I would have sat through the presentation for my friend. If it gets her a free vacuum it's worth it to me. But come on, what's wrong with the Hoover that EVERYONE ELSE in America has? If you want to spend thousands of dollars on a vacuum, fine. Just don't make it contingent on my support.

But it turned out after I accepted the meeting, that James was so busy Saturday that he just couldn't do it. So I called back and told Pat. Pat said, "well, are you sure you can't do friday? She can even do it late in the evening or early in the morning on Saturday. Is there some time that would work?"

But I held my ground. I told her we couldn't do Friday, and that James was just too busy Saturday.

Then James helped me clean the house Saturday morning and spent the rest of the morning on a conference call for business. Then he happened to walk out into the front yard after he got off the phone.... right in time to see Pat driving by! Awesome. Pat turned the car around, and came back to tell James that we were not "off the hook." What?! Sorry, Pat, I think you're the one on the hook, not me. I have nothing to do with your vacuum. Or your toaster. Or your noni juice. Or your ridiculously overpriced kitchen gadgets.

{Mini-mini-tirade: What's the deal with how MLM stuff is always way over-priced, until you get friends to participate, and then you get a "deal?" So, your mixing bowl costs $29 unless I invite 3 friends to your party, or host my own party, and then I get it for $10? So.... does that mean the bowl is really worth $10? ... But "regular" price is still $29? And your business is so good to its employees and you get all kinds of benefits for working there, they are a business that cares! Well that's awesome! But I still don't want to pay $29 for the cost of my bowl plus the cost of paying 10 middle men along the way so that everyone can feel good and feel like they're "not in it for the money." They're there to make a difference in lives! Not me. I just want the same bowl for $7.99 at Target. They're always like, "it's an amazing product! But yeah, you can't afford it unless you start working for us. No one can afford it unless they get the discount.... and to get the discount you have to sell our product to you friends. But be sure to tell them, 'no pressure!' so they think this is all just a friendly exchange." While the elephant in the room is that, if you really want to help your friend, you will sell the product to your friends, or at least buy one yourself, or else you must not care that much about your friend. Or you're stingy. Or a jerk. And you can't tell the salesman where to go, because the salesman is your friend, or your friend's guest. And it's all a dirty rotten trick. I hate when salesmen try to attach values that have nothing to do with their product to purchasing the product. That's why I hate BYU commercials right after General Conference, with the hidden message, if you want to be righteous, you'll shop at BYU book store. Or, Deseret Book, where you can purchase the tools necessary for salvation. Same thing with the sellers of vacuums and cleaning products. Do you care about your children? Then naturally you will purchase this product. Are you a decent human being or a despicable slob? Decent? Well, in that case... And I'm supposed to be thinking, how have we miraculously survived and stayed relatively well without this product? HOW??? After all, any decent, reasonable person can see that it's a necessity.}

Another deep breath. Can you hear my hyperventilating?

If you're even still reading, you can tell that I am embittered by feeling like I have been taken advantage of by this kind of thing. However, some people know how to approach it so that the business feels separate from the relationship and I don't feel cornered. No joke, I think we have been approached by, invited to participate in, and requested to support more than 20 of these kinds of things in the last year. I am not exaggerating. And every one of them says, "this one's different." Ha. And I am embittered by these situations because it's always "no pressure," yet I feel like I am being pressured into feeling like a bad friend if I say no. It's like saying, I'm not interested in supporting you. I'm not interested in you. But why should I feel like the one with bad manners? Isn't it bad manners to put someone in that position?!!

But just to be clear, it never hurts my feelings to get an email or a facebook invite for any kind of business thing. If I'm interested I will surely take advantage.

Turns out that was a mega-tirade. Who knew. But blogging is like therapy for me. I like knowing that you will read my thoughts and agree or disagree. Some people blog to scrapbook. Some people blog to journal. I blog to connect. I like knowing that I can share my thoughts with people I would not otherwise have much of a relationship other than the yearly catch-up with. And I like your comments. They validate me. They are the reason I keep writing. This blog fills a social need for me. And though my thoughts are usually jumbled, and wouldn't make a very good newspaper article, it is the format in which I would open myself up to a friend. Whatever comes into my mind, in whatever order it spills out. And if I have any blog-stalkers out there, awesome! I'm flattered! I cordially invite you to continue reading. And it will make me even happier if you share your thoughts in the comments section. Let's be friends.

Still in my room. I took a break during the mini-mini-tirade to put Beets to bed. Have I mentioned that we call him Beets? Even the kids: "Mooooom? Beets was waughing at me!" Nicknames just happen in our family. I started this post well over an hour ago. It's been a good hour. Thanks for being such good listeners! :)

Am I weird for really, really wanting to see this?

2009-12-17T14:36:00.000-08:00

I like Christmas.

2009-12-13T20:45:00.000-08:00

Hoooo, boy! Crazy, this month they call December. I thought I was really on top of things this year. I started brainstorming ideas for gifts a few months ago, since that is after all the hardest part of Christmas shopping. It is infinitely easier when you have a list of the name of the person you would like to get a gift for, with the gift you want to give them next to their name. Plus, then you're giving them something you are excited to give them because you put thought into it, instead of some hasty bottle of lotion thrown in some cellophane (But who doesn't love lotion?! There's nothing wrong with lotion. If you bought me some lotion for Christmas, I will LOVE it. [Especially since James is using all of mine by the gallon on his thighs. {He is not going to be happy about this parenthetical insertion. (What's the deal with dry thighs?) Annnnnnd...... end it now}]).

What was I saying? Ah yes, Christmas shopping. I'm almost done. And the reason I wanted to get all the to-do's done early is because I LOVE this time of year. I don't want to squander all these happy, warm feelings rushing around fighting my way through crowds at Walmart with a machete; hacking my way down the toy aisle past parents staring with cloudy eyes at the endless, pointless array of Polly Pockets and Hot Wheels. Depressing. Dude, can't you think of anything you've been waiting to get for your child but haven't already indulged them in? Or do they already have everything so you have to wander the aisles of Walmart aimlessly with a wad of $20's in your clammy palm, looking for something--anything!--to wrap and shove under your Pottery Barn Christmas Tree? And this is the feeling that, to me, is so far from the true meaning of Christmas that I like to avoid the mad fever of Christmas shopping during December, even though I am certainly not opposed to the tradition of Santa Clause and gift giving, within reason. Some people go to extremes and condemn everything materialistic associated with Christmas. I can see where they're coming from. But it makes me happy to get gifts for people. And to take our neighbors treats. And send out Christmas cards (which I'm doing for the first time this year--yay!! If you are not related to me and/or you don't think I have your address, leave it in a comment and I'll send you one!). And it also makes me happy to pass on the magic of the Santa Clause tradition to our children. I know Jesus is the reason for the season. And I'm trying to help them learn that. But I think Santa Clause is just a jolly good man who helps make the joys of Christmas more palpable for children.

And ahhhhhhhh........ Christmas music. Christmas music just takes all the static energy of the joys of Christmas and converts it into the kinetic (audio?) energy of song. I like to go to Pandora radio and type in "Classical Christmas" and just leave it playing in the background all day. Plus the good ol' originals, Bing Crosby, The Carpenters, Johnny Mathis. I could go on. It is always the music of Christmas that makes that golden joy just bubble up inside me. I love the Christmas hymns. I love "O Holy Night." My favorite part of that song are the lyrics:

Christ is the Lord!
O praise His name forever!
Noel! Noel!

That is the climax of the song, and many versions skip that part, or never get to it. I like the Il Divo version, because they sing that part properly. I love the word Noel; it is a unique word that celebrates the birth of the Savior. I could name a daughter Noel(le). In fact, maybe I will.

I also love the coziness of Christmas. We have a small, gangly tree this year, reminiscent of the Charlie Brown tree only taller and less pathetic. It's a homey tree with homemade cookie-cutter salt dough ornaments from 2 years ago, and white lights. It looks cozy in our yellow living room. There is snow outside. Our house is warm, and we have plenty of food to eat. All of our needs and many of our wants are met. We have family whom we love, and who love us. We have good friends. We have lots of good memories. On demand, I can usually think of something that makes me laugh hard. If you want proof of that, today as I was getting the kids a pre-church snack, I suddenly burst out laughing. A real laugh, that continued for the better part of a minute. Beth was like, "Mom, what's so funny?" looking at me weirdly. I walked into the living room and sent James a text that said, basically, "remember when....." The memory was of when, 4 or 5 years ago, we were in Texas and eating at Daniel and Alycia's house one time. Alycia's parents were there and had brought some jerky. They dumped it on a plate and, as typical in the Ure family, it was gone within several minutes. This was nothing to bat an eye at among our crowd, but Alycia's dad, Todd, was apparently quite taken aback by Richard's (or was it Daniel's?) nonchalant comment, "Hey, that jerky was kinda good." He responded, incredulously, "KINDA good?!!! You DEVOURED it!!!!" I am laughing out loud just typing it. Probably one of those things that is funnier if you were there. And if you are me, and you laugh hard at those kinds of things. Silly girl.

In other tooooootally unrelated news (I might be a better writer if I would just stick to a catchy little one-subject blurb like a "Dear Santa" letter instead of spilling my heart and soul out to you and letting the contents flood out any sort of format. No matter. Read on.), James and I are having a little competish entitled "the biggest loser/gainer/all-around improver of one's overall appearance." That's right. I was even brave enough to let him take a "before" shot of me. Yikes, yikes, yikes. No, I will not be posting it. But we will be emailing them to Nels and Suzy, since they will be the lucky fools who get to judge our competition. We started December 15 and we are ending February 15. 3 months. And I am already very sore. I got through some wicked post-lunges/squats soreness last week, and am currently enduring some insane post-butterflies/skull crunchers soreness right now. James is trying to beef up, and I am trying to polish off the whole love handles and front paunch thing I've got going....as hot as that is right now. So wish me luck. I am usually pretty unmotivated at stuff like this. But let's just say a cash reward has helped me work up a little enthusiasm. $)

So......... to wrap things up I'll throw in a

MERRY CHRISTMAS

or...

Happy Hannukah! For all my Jewish readers out there. You never know. I got an ad from Best Buy that said "Happy Hannukuh!" on the front, with nothing about Christmas. Nothing. Just trying to reverse the discrimination and even things out. That, or they are just trying to welcome all those Jews in St. George who shop at best buy. Aaaaaaaallllllll those Jewish people. I love Jews. I just thought it was funny.

I hope your season is merry and bright. Go have a cup of hot cocoa with a candy cane melted in it. And listen to a Christmas hymn and remember the Holy Night. Remember Mary, and Joseph, and the wee holy babe wrapped in swaddling clothes. I hope it was warm that night, and that he was warm enough in those swaddling clothes. Remember the star of Bethlehem, and the shepherds and the angels. Remember why we all rejoiced on that night. Remember what He did for us. "Sing praise to Him, remember Him as you picture Christmas this year!"

p.s. Thanks for reading.

How I Almost Became An Inventor

2009-11-24T14:07:00.000-08:00

I had an idea. I should say, I have an idea. Maybe not an extraordinary idea, but a good idea. Here it is:

Living in Utah (or anywhere where it snows), whenever there is a snow storm in the winter time, and I have to go out while it’s snowing—be it to the store, Christmas shopping, church, an evening event, or what have you—my shoes (and socks and six inches of my pants) get wet. I am usually wearing non-boots, sometimes leather shoes, and my shoes get wet with snow. This is especially hard on leather shoes.

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just put something water-proof over your shoes and pants until you got inside again?

So, what, galoshes or something? I know. Over-boots? They already have those. For fishermen, or farmers who wade through poop and stuff. But what if I’m going to a social occasion, or the mall, or church, and I don’t really have anywhere to leave my huge galoshes? Nor do I want to wear my wet boots throughout the day/evening.

So……….drum roll……..

Behold. Compact Over-boots.

Here is the idea: They have a rubber sole, and the upper of the boot is made of some kind of water-proof fabric, perhaps even thick latex. There is a strap that comes from the bottom/back of the heel, and diagonally straps over the ankle. The feet would easily fit into the over-boots wearing any shoe. Then, they just strap on around the ankle to secure it in place, and strap around the calf to protect the pants. Then, when you get to wherever you’re going, you simply slip off the over-boots, wrap the fabric upper around the rubber soles, and slip them into the water-proof zipping case the size of a shoe sole which come with the over-boots, slip them into your purse or coat pocket, and, bingo. You’re on your way. Dry.

Good idea, right? I know.

Besides having a practical idea, there are the financial and status implications that come with being an inventor.

Like, the newspaper article that would come out in the Cedar City Spectrum entitled, “Stay-At-Home Mother Invents Multi-Million Dollar Compact Over-Boots.” Then we’d see who asks me what I do all day.

Plus, then, when I’m filling out random forms and surveys and it asks for my occupation, instead of checking the box that says “inconsequential loafer” I can check the box that says “other” and pencil in “Inventor Extraordinaire.” That’ll show ‘em.

So, I started tinkering around online, you know, just to see if there is anything like that already in production. I found a few products that were similar, but none that accomplished the same thing I wanted to accomplish. Then I found this website for a company called Davison. The company was started by a guy who had an idea for invention, but was discouraged by the process it took to develop an idea, so he decided to start a company that helps people navigate through the process. I figured, Eh, might as well request some free info.

“Click here for a free brochure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Click.

RRRRRRRRRRING!!!!

It was my phone. Actually it was more like this:

Cli—RRRRRRRRRRING!!!!

“…….Hello?”

“Yes, is this Angela?”

“……yeah.”

“This is Bill Sausser from Davison, did you request some information?”

“I….I guess so.”

“I’ll send it overnight priority mail right this second!!! AAHHHHHH!!!!”

“O—“

Click.

“—kay………..Bill.”

This was the point that I started feeling a little silly about the whole thing. So the next time he called it was:

“Hello? Angela? Did you get the information I sent?...Okay, then just describe your idea on the paper I sent and mail it back to me. Confidentiality guaranteed—you haven’t told anyone about your idea yet, have you?”

“Well, I may have mentioned it to my husband and a few other people…”

“Okay, well, don’t tell anyone else. Best to keep these things confidential, you know. Next thing you know you’ll see your idea selling off the shelves of Walmart, and that could have been you making a million bucks, you know. Happens all the time.”

“Yeah.” I just couldn’t flatter him by getting as excited as he was. “So…. How does your company make money, Bill? I mean, obviously you would get a percentage of the proceeds if it were to succeed….”

“Yes. Our company would get ten percent of whatever royalty you are offered for your product.” (He failed to mention at this point that they charge $745 for “pre-development work,” which is essentially checking if anyone already has a patent on this product, or if anyone is developing it anywhere. That, of course, precedes costs of developing the product itself, which—I had to find out from the disclosure statement they hastily slid under the door 2 weeks after the rest of the information arrived—costs usually “anywhere in a range from a few thousand to fifteen thousand dollars.” The disclosure also revealed that the percentage of the company’s profits that come from royalties of successful developed products is “0.001%.” Nice. Out of 50,000 people who paid the $745 initially, some of whom paid more to have their product developed, 13—thirteen—made more money on their product than they invested in its production. Of course this information was not disclosed to me in this conversation.)

“I see. Well, I’ll send you my idea.”

In subsequent conversations with Bill, I asked many questions of which I’ll spare you the 5-minute answers, answers which seemed to evade the question. Example:

“So, I don’t want to invest money into this unless there’s a good chance of making money. We don’t really have $745 to throw at “pre-development work” unless I have an idea of what the whole development is going to cost.”

“Well, there’s just no way of knowing.”

“But could you give me a ball park figure?”

“There is just really no way to tell. But, you’re confident in your idea aren’t you?”

“Well—that’s the thing. I think it’s a good idea, but I am not confident that it’s going to make many thousands of dollars. I would have to be confident that it would make more than I invested into it.”

“Well…….our company is very good…. Blah, blah, blah….. you’re confident in your idea, aren’t you?...... blah, blah, blah, blah……..”

See, I was thinking, I am not passionate enough about this to dedicate my life and my savings to developing it. Forget it. I’ll just wear bread bags over my shoes. So I thought, if there is a company that is willing to bear most of the risk and most of the cost, they can have most of the profit, for all I care……as long as I have lingering residual income, be it ever so small, from the continued profits of the product.

But alas, for all you would-be inventors out there, the inventor bears all risk, and all cost, for development of the product. Lots of inventors have invested $30 to $50K in attempt to develop ideas that have gone nowhere.

Bummer.

So, that was it for me. I almost had my day in the sun.

If any of you want to take my status and glory and invent these, they are yours. I’ll settle for 10% of your profits. ;)

……….But seriously.

Precious moments and 6/8-legged pests

2009-11-10T13:19:00.000-08:00

I have been feeling nostalgic today. The funny thing is though, it's not the "remember when" type of nostalgia, it's more like a future-me nostalgia for right now. If that makes sense. It's the nostalgia of knowing that life changes quickly. That every moment is fleeting. That childhood is precious, and doesn't last forever.

We have a video from the library called "How To Be A Ballerina," which we are probably the only ones to check out. It encapsulates the magic of little-girl-hood quite well. At the end, after the ballet performance, a little girl wakes up in her bed in the morning, looks over at her tutu hanging up on a peg on the wall, and looks at the camera. In her British accent, and in a voice filled with rapture, she says, "It wasn't a dream! I really am a ballerina!"

So naturally, Beth ran to put on her leotard, tights, and tutu, in order to give us a ballet performance after the video was over. I put on some music, and she danced and danced in the living room.

I tried to upload a video of her dancing, but my limited savvy-ness when it comes to things technical was the cause of me wasting a lot of time trying to figure it out, and getting nowhere. So, imagine a cute girl in a tutu dancing around.

In other unrelated news (I use the term "news" loosely), I was putting the whites into the washing machine today (a front-loader). As I shoved the last few dirty socks in, trying to quickly stab them in and then close the door so they wouldn't fall out, I saw a tan-colored, disgusting spider crawling on a sock right where my hand had been only moments earlier.

[parenthetical insertion: I HAAAAAAAAAAAATE spiders. I loathe them. With all of my small soul I shudder every time I see one. Then my blood pressure rises until I reach a state of panicked hysteria. I can't state strongly enough that I have a vendetta against any spider bold enough to step a gangly, nasty leg into my house.]

To make matters worse, I will admit that I had also stripped myself of the clothes I was wearing, which needed to be washed with that load, and was making ready to beeline it to the shower hiding behind the empty laundry basket. (Don't pretend that you never do this. Come on.) So naturally I was feeling a little........ exposed........ at the time of the spider incident.

So, I fought one of those "lonely battles of the heart," in which I experienced severe inner agony for about 5 minutes before building the courage to grab the kitchen towel and quickly shove the rest of the dirty laundry into the washer, spider and all.

I probably touched its corpse as I was loading them into the dryer. I'll probably find it when I'm folding them. Sometimes my life is a solitary battle that can only be fought by myself.

We have also been having trouble with flies, since the puppies who occupy our garage are pretty stinky, so every time we open the door to the garage, we get a few more flies. I have spent at least 10 minutes a day trying to kill them. Recently when I got in the shower, there was an unsuspecting fly perched inside the shower curtain. I dumped a cupped handful of water right over its head, and watched as it struggled for life until it disappeared into the drain. I felt kind of bad watching it sputter and kick. But not that bad.

The end.

wwwwith my pocket money jinglin' in my jeans!!

2009-11-02T19:43:00.000-08:00

Ahh, Marty Robbins. Do yourself a favor. Look him up on iTunes. NOW.

Oooooookaaaaaaaaay. Budgeting.

We all have to do it. We all work hard for our money. And we all want to maximize how far every dollar will go.

See, the way I see it is this. There are 3 ways to create wealth:

1. Make money. Obvious.

2. Get really good at handling money. A person with an annual salary of $40K who is great at handling her money, saving, investing, finding deals, etc., can live the same lifestyle as a person who makes $80K a year and doesn't do those things. It's true.

3. Thievery. This one is not as common or as popular, but for what it's worth, I've looked into it for myself and decided I would try to go with numbers 1 and 2. Most people don't know this, but thievery (plunder, filching, burglary, larceny, pilfering, robbery, stealing, ripping off) is actually as much or more work than numbers 1 and 2 combined. Just look at Craigslist scammers. That's a full-time job, folks. Plus the risk factor, causing stress to both scammer and scammee. What if I get busted??? Or, What if this wealthy doctor with a foreign accent who wants to buy my used mattress, no questions asked, who has never seen it or laid on it but is fully committed to pay the full asking price, who only wants my address so they can send me a money order in the mail and send their magical moving crew to pick it up, what if he is a scammer?? So you see, you would probably do better to just get a job. It's up to you though.

But seriously. My point in writing this is to just put it out there, for what it's worth. Right now we don't make a lot of money. This may come as a shock to many of you considering our caviar and champagne lifestyle. But it's true. We live like a family who makes more money than our family actually makes by living one simple rule: buy on credit. You would be amazed at how many things you can get qualified to purchase. You can live like kings on a pauper's salary.

Har har har har!!! I am so funny. But SERIOUSLY. Seriously.

Here is how we handle our money.

First, a few years ago James and I sat down together and hashed out a document we now refer to as our "financial constitution." This document, shrunk down to fit into both of our planners for easy reference, details not only the setup of our budgeting system, but also our rules about non-budgeted expenses such as Christmas, birthdays, gifts to others, health expenses, traveling/vacations, educational expenses, homeowner/remodeling expenses, food storage, and everything else we could think of. By "rules," let me give you an example. Christmas. Our rule about Christmas for right now, as we are on a slim budget is this (and I quote): "The Christmas budget shall be 2% of the net annual income." Let's make that easy. If our net annual income is $50,000*, we get to spend $1,000 on Christmas. That's for us, the kids, and anyone else we buy anything for for Christmas. Mmmkay? That is, provided we can spend that much without going into debt to do it.

Most of our rules are based, not on actual dollar amounts, but on percentages. And some things we leave as discretionary--more so as we begin to trust our discretion more and feel that it is less necessary to bind ourselves down by the rules. Another example: Anniversary. "Spouses may collectively spend an amount equal to 5% of the monthly cash budget. So, if our monthly cash budget were $500, we could spend $25 on our anniversary. I know that sounds boring. But hey, we could go out to dinner.

Our financial constitution also includes our plan for saving. We deposit 10% of our income into our savings account. If and when our savings account EVER gets over a certain amount that we have predetermined (we have had to use it so many times for things like home remodels, washer/dryers, furniture, cars, that it has never built up to a very impressive amount), we put another predetermined percentage into a long-term savings account.

Credit cards are paid in full every month, if we choose to use them. We usually don't, but we plan to get a rewards or sky-miles credit card soon to start racking up some points. Credit cards can be very useful, and very rewarding if you have the discipline required to use them to your advantage.

Monthly budget.

This system has taken us the longest to come up with, and has been the most thought-out, and tinkered with. This is what we have come up with. We prefer the cash budget, or, envelope system. Why? Because I don't like keeping a ledger and balancing a check book. And because we have had too many overdraft fees. And because I don't like when we spend everything in our account but I still have to buy groceries. But we don't get paid for another week. So I prefer to withdraw everything we will need at the beginning of the month so that no discretionary or frivolous expenditures take the place of food or gas.

We have 5 envelopes:

Groceries
Gas/Miscellaneous
Dates
Babysitting
Clothing

I also keep an envelope called "Surplus," which I pool any leftover cash into (with the exception of "clothing" because we just let that build) and an envelope called "Next Month." Next month is if I have to buy something on debit because I forgot to bring the folder, I go home and put the amount spent into the folder for next month, letting myself know that it has been used.

We decided to combine gas and miscellaneous because gas is hard to predict with the prices changing, so we make the amount large enough to cover fluctuating prices. We had to keep increasing the amount of the miscellaneous folder because, when we were sitting down making the budget, we couldn't think of that many things that would fit into that category. But as we started living the system, there were TONS of things, and we had underestimated. Dry cleaning, haircuts, printer ink cartridges, to name a few. Plus having a little in case we need to cover extra expenses in one of the other folders.

The clothing folder is rotated. In January James gets a certain amount. Then in February I get it. Then in March the kids get it. And so it rotates.

Everything else comes out of our checking account. Monthly utility bills, the mortgage, and a few other things that we have just agreed is easier to just let it come out of checking. Like, any purchase from Home Depot or Ace Hardware. There is just less contention in our house if we let those come out of checking and not worry about finagling the money out of the cash budget.

Grocery shopping. This is one I have been working on lately. There is so much to be had in the way of great deals. Today I got 3 cans of chili for 12 cents each. Also, a pack of quilted northern toilet paper, 12 double rolls (normally priced at $9.99) for $4.49. I spent $27 on grated cheese, because I got 15 pounds for that price. And a few packs of Keebler cookies (blessed creations!) for $1 a pack. See, there's this website called www.grocerysmarts.com, which really only works I think for Utah, not quite sure. It asks you for a passport, which is g84chr. You can click on a store, and it will give you a list format of each item that is on sale at that time, a 1-5 star rating of how good the sale is, and give you a link or a reference to a Sunday paper coupon from the last 5 or so months. (Yeah, you have to start collecting and filing the coupon ads from the Sunday paper. But it's totally worth it.) Just go check it out. You'll thank me from the bottom of your heart.

Okay, that'll give you something to chew on if you are considering trying to get more on top of your finances. For now, I need to go to bed. Good night, fellow crusaders in the cause of turning dimes into dollars.

*All amounts are fabricated

Let the record show...

2009-10-30T07:26:00.000-07:00

-that the defendant loves her life and wouldn't trade anyone in the world.

-that select previous statements in post entitled "Angela: Unplugged" shall be stricken from the record. (Okay, not really "stricken." If I really meant that I'd delete the post.)

-that I have the sweetest, cutest children.

-that it's a wonderful life.

As proof, the following photographs will be submitted as Exhibit A:

p.s. I got this shirt for 33 cents at a yard sale on Saturday.

Angela: Unplugged

2009-10-28T13:34:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night--or was it 2 nights ago? The nights sort of melt together into one nightmarish haze--that I had another baby. A boy. In the dream I was happy. Huh. That must have been after the dream that spiders were crawling all over me. Anything is a relief after that. Still, I was glad when I woke up.

Okay so, in order to achieve the right balance on this blog between rose-colored glasses of optimism, a.k.a., yammering on about the ceaseless joys of motherhood; between that and always posting whiny rants (I tend to err on the side of the latter, I'm afraid), I will just stick to honesty. There are lots of times when I feel the sheer, unadulterated joys of being a mother. But unfortunately, today isn't one of those days.

Isn't is ironic that during the time that is most physically demanding in a woman's life, it is also the time that she is not allowed a decent night's rest? It would be nice to get an early start on mornings, since they are crazy and I could accomplish so much if I got up at 6:30. But I just can't.

So on the usual morning, when Isaac wakes up at 6:30 (what's the deal with that?!) James gets up and plops him in the baby swing in front of baby Einstein for 1-1 1/2 hours until I get up. I usually get up between 7:30 and 8:00, once I feel I have rested to an acceptable degree to drag myself out of bed. All the kids are up, and have sometimes committed several acts of mischief including but not limited to: locking the dog outside in the backyard, where she can't get to her hungry puppies; "cooking;" putting their hands in the honey jar and then licking them off, rinse, and repeat; some inexplicable activity in which water is distributed all over the house; and other forms of destructive recreation.

Immediately upon my rising, Isaac sees me and gives a panicked cry for me to rescue him from the endless repeating of "Baby Neptune," and change his sopping diaper, and nurse him. Hungry children beg to be fed, messes need to be tidied. Every morning I spend about 3 hours desperately trying to catch up to a state where all needs are taken care of. After repeated promises of breakfast to be delivered upon satisfaction of the baby.

And what's the deal with breakfast anyway? One of the most annoying dilemmas I face every day is what to make for breakfast. I don't want to serve sugary, expensive cereal every morning. But nor do I want to cook up a production of pancakes and eggs, leaving myself even further behind because of clean-up. And I can only stomach oatmeal, or other such mush, about once every two weeks. What's your solution?!

Besides the breakfast dilemma, I hate our kitchen. I don't like eating in it, I don't like cooking in it, I don't like cleaning it. So, more often than I care to admit I leave the kids to eat breakfast in there while I go check my email while I shovel down whatever unappetizing fare I decided on for the day. One thing usually leads to another and I seek escape from my life by checking and responding to email, checking my google reader, and facebook. Dang. I really could have gotten a few things done during that time. But I needed a semblance of an identity other than the "MOM!" who is called upon to: "wipe my bottom!" "Help me put my socks on!" "*scream* I can't get this pancake on my fooooooooke!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Someone who might say, "how are YOU doing today?"

But more often than not, when I succumb to the self-pity that results in a toddler-style temper tantrum on my part *beats chest with fist and then points and winks at Katie Cowan*, I realize that the source of my discontent stems from something other than the never-ending chaos that is my life. For example, I discover that I have been walking around in a crummy, unswept, cold kitchen floor that needs desperately to be swept. And hey, I just stepped in someone's spilled milk with my bare, unshowered foot. Or, *easily-disgusted men can skip this sentence* I really want to get showered because my nursing pads are maxed out and smelling slightly sour, but I don't want to change them until I shower because I don't want to waste a pair, nor do I want to re-use a pair I apply to my unshowered, sour self. So I get mad at everyone and everything that stands in my way of a shower. Sorry. It's true. Or, here's a good one, there is a huge zit on my forehead, which I skim across with my fingernails every time I try to sweep that tickly, greasy piece of hair out of my face. Not just the physical pain on that one, but the pain of feeling UGLY.

So after "breakfast," there's the problem of what I'm going to do with the kids to freeze them in time so that they won't cause more destruction while I take an hour and clean up the havoc already wreaked upon our household. So: Dora. Dora, Dora, Dora the Explorah.

So, I'll just let their young, hungry-for-knowledge minds waste away watching Dora while I put the baby down for a nap, clean up and take a shower.

Okay, now I'll nurse the baby while they are being quiet. What?!--Dora's over already? *sigh* I guess we'll put on another one.

Okay, I'll hurry and clean up the breakfast dishes. What? That one's over now? But I haven't even showered yet! So... the kids run around and play while I shower.

I thought that I had cut every possible corner in my own hygiene and personal maintenance in order to increase efficiency, so why does it take me SO LONG to shower, dress, and throw together my hair and makeup?

Okay, shake it off. Get the kids dressed.

Wow, I'm tired of talking about mornings. Let's move on.

By the time all this is done, on a good day, we have an hour to have an outing before it's time for lunch. On a not-so-good day like today, it's lunch time by the time I have cleaned up breakfast and gotten everyone dressed. We had time for reading stories. 'Scuse me, story. Singular. The baby sat at my feet and cried the whole time I yelled a story to the kids.

Lunch. Similar to breakfast.

Naptime.

Did you hear that? PRAISE HEAVEN!!!!! NAPTIME!!!

Okay!!!!!! What should I do? The possibilities are endless!!! I could:

~Finish folding the laundry from yesterday
~Clean up the Kleenex Isaac shredded all over the living room
~Read a book. Current selection: Atlast Shrugged, by Ayn Rand *highly recommended
~Take a nap
~Prepare materials for the "sucker walk," which I will be hosting at tonight's cub scout pack meeting (which I will be taking the kids to, because James teaches a class every wednesday night. Except Kellie said she would keep Isaac for me. I love you, Kellie.)
~Get things together to go down to Stef's tomorrow to bottle applesauce.
~Do prep work for the soup I am supposed to make for tomorrow's primary meeting.
~Figure out what on earth to feed the family for dinner.
~Snarf down a cheese quesedilla with a slight sprinkle of cayenne pepper and some salsa verde, and compose a whiny rant on my blog detailing the reasons I feel fit to pronounce the phrase, "Wo is me!!!"......... okay, two cheese quesedillas. *COUGH* and a bowl of Cap'n Crunch

*COUGH*

What would you choose?

Except, in the particular case of today, Beth didn't nap, and came out of her "quiet time" area of the house 10 or 15 times to ask/tell me something. By the time she settled down, Josh woke up. So, she knew the jig was up for me, and the two of them staged a coup, and are now happily watching Peter Pan.

So, I feel like my kids languish in front of movies all day while I try with all my might to get everyone's needs taken care of at the same time, and the house cleaned up after everyone's messes. If I can get all of those things to occur at the same time, and it doesn't happen to be time to prepare/eat/clean up after the next meal, we might have an hour where I can actually spend quality time with the children. But, good gravy!!! By that time I've had it with them!! So, I turn on another movie.

I am really trying hard today not to wish it all away. Not to "put in my time" while my kids are young so that I can go off travelling and shopping without feeling my milk let down after an hour and remembering that someone needs me. Jen's post added fuel to the fire of those wishes today.

I need some encouragement here! My whole life is dedicated to a work that I feel like I'm failing at!!!! But, once in a while, there is that still, small voice that tells me, "you're accomplishing more than you realize." I hope it's true. I hope with all my might that, through sheer mercy, my children grow up having picked up a few tidbits of knowledge, and a few precious moments in which their mother treasured the fleeting moments of their childhood.

Now. Shredded tissues beckon. And the baby's awake.

EXTREME (or not) Home Makeover

2009-10-11T17:33:00.000-07:00

We have done some remodeling in our house. A lot, actually. When we bought it, we gave the whole house an overhaul--except for the kitchen. See, kitchens are tricky because they are.... what's the word..... EXPENSIVE. Even if we did much of the labor ourselves, and even though it is a small kitchen, doing cabinetry, floors, appliances, counter tops--well, that adds up really quickly. And the thing is, we're about out of cash.

But on the other hand, part of me says, what's the point of redoing the kitchen if we're not going to redo the old, awful cabinetry? And if we can't redo the cabinetry, we can't put in a dishwasher, nor can we adjust the layout of the kitchen, which is poorly designed. And if we're leaving the old cabinets, why put in new counter tops and floors?

But the cold hard fact is, if we wait until we have $10,000 to do something, nothing will ever happen. And hey, maybe we could make it.... charming?

So, take a look at these pictures. Notice, the sweet pink oven. And the awesome gold handles on the cabinets. Dang, I should have taken a picture from the doorway over there, coming in. Can you picture it?
Yep, lots of OLD features. The fan. The linoleum. The tiled window sills. The grayish-pink walls. With our ultra-modern whirlpool washer and dryer sitting in the midst. Yep, in the kitchen.

So, there's an idea of what it looks like. I have all kinds of dreams of what we could do if we actually gutted the old cabinets and started from scratch, and could move the fridge, washer/dryer, create a bar, etc. Even though the space is small, much more could be done with it. What a waste.

BUT, I keep having these indescribable yearnings to make my home a reflection of ME. My personality. To create beauty, style, uniqueness. Even if I can't redo the whole thing, I can be creative! I can at least paint the walls! And assuming we're never going to redo the cabinetry, we could do everything else in phases. Take a couple of Saturdays and paint the walls. Save up a few hundred bucks and get new, economical counter tops. Have James tile the floor next summer when we have more time. Make something for the windows.

Okay, there you have it. So HELP me!!!! You creative geniuses (is that the correct plural? Geniui? Genium?), what would you do here? You know who you are. *cough* Katie *cough* and all you others with a creative spirit. What color would you paint the walls? What would you do on the windows? New hardware on the cabinets perhaps? Should I repaint the cabinets? The rest of our home is hard wood, so I don't want to do a wood or a faux wood in the kitchen. Tile? And if I am keeping the cabinetry and the retro oven, should I sort of go for a retro theme here?

IDEAS! Come on guys. Get excited with me.

Tired of the same old shoe selection?

2009-10-06T20:30:00.000-07:00

So, I was perusing the DSW online shoe selection. Had to glance through clearance, you know. And I found many of the shoes so remarkable that I just couldn't resist sharing them with you.

Let's begin with this little lovely:
So... is it possible to get a foot wedgie? Yowzers!

Behold, the pom-pom sandal:
Who thought that was a good idea? Somebody who is really excited about shoes, I guess.

And for that dilemma, how can I really turn some heads when I go to pick the kids up from school:
Bingo. Problem solved.

Another peach:
Okay, so, did someone delete the heel section of this photograph? Or is this the real shoe:
This next one is one of my favorites. I like to call it "puckered pleather":
Am I the only one whose flats are always slipping off my heels? Hello!!! Why has no one ever thought of THIS:
The Ballet flat shackle. The Baflackle.

Fila is making their comeback:
Any takers?........ Mom?

I had to go back to the website and get the actual name of these, because it's priceless. Behold, the Pony Women's City Wings Cosmo Leather Hi Top:
Yeah. Wear these bad boys when your son's friends come over. Then we'll see who smiles politely and gives courtesy laughs at your jokes. You will be IN.

Okay, and how has it taken until 2009 to come up with the moon-walker sandal? Sorry, Neil Armstrong. American has failed you. This fashion genius arrived on the scene half a century too late:
And I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall in the board meeting where the "metallic gladiator sandal" was pitched. They probably had a model dressed in a leather gladiator tunic and holding a sword. Doing the catwalk. I just love how that silver and gold shimmers. It almost gives me the chills:
Feathers? Ribbons? Uhh..... AWESOME???:
Yes, these too were in the "women's" section:
And, I just really can't get enough of this design:
Can't figure out what to wear on those crisp fall mornings, when you know it will be warm by the afternoon? Well weep no more, my lady.

And take that same fall morning, only now you are invited to a tupperware party:
So, don't get discouraged, you guys. There are lots of options out there.

Just when it was starting to feel lonely around here...

2009-09-28T09:29:00.000-07:00

Shiloh goes and triples the size of our family!!!

8 Weimaraner puppies!

Meet Mr. drops small object on hard surface

2009-09-24T09:23:00.000-07:00

cashews, anyone?

2009-09-23T17:31:00.000-07:00

Uh... yeah, Mom? Did you need something?

Crazy Kids

2009-09-21T15:26:00.000-07:00

Oh, I love this baby! I say that lots of times every day. He is such a nice fellow.

Before I took these pictures of Beth and Josh, I said, "Okay, you can make whatever face you want. I will take the picture on three." And this is what we got:

These are funny little buggers. Here are a few excerpts out of the journals I keep for them, starting with Beth's journal:

4-9-08
Here is the one-sided conversation between Beth and Josh today. Beth has her kite blanket wrapped around her like a dress.
"Dosh, will you come to the ball, buddy?"
"You must come with me to the ball, silly!"
Then, moments later, to me:
"Mommy, you must come to the ball with me."
Then I saw a light go on in her head.
"We have a ball!!! Let's go to it!!!"

9-1-08
Mom (sitting down by Beth and Josh): "Who has a kiss for their Mommy?"
. . . No response. . . . Beth and Josh continue to play. . . .
Bethany (looking up): "Who has a quarter for their little kids?"

8-26-09
Beth and I were drawing together today. I was drawing the sun in the sky, when Beth said,
"Mom, how come you put sunglasses on your sun? Because, the sun doesn't need sunglasses, because the sun doesn't get in it's eyes because IT's the sun!"

9-20-09
"Hey Mom, we don't clean the house or shop at the store or jump up and down on Sunday because that wouldn't be keeping the Holy day Sabbath, huh, Mom."

Now Josh's journal:

6-9-09
Last night when Beth and Josh were taking a bath together, Beth put a wet wash cloth on Josh's back like a cape and started calling him "your highness." Apparently he liked the status of "your Highness," because when I took the washcloth off his back as the tub was draining, he shouted, "Nooooo!! My Highness!!"

6-22-09 (and every other day)
"Mom, I want some bwetfwest."

9-13-09
Beth: Josh, do you wanna come to the ball with me?
Josh: No.
Beth: But, it's pink, and purple, and blue, and gold, and. . .
Josh: I wike bwue.
Beth: Do you wanna come with me?
Josh: . . . .

These kids keep us laughing!

Sick

2009-09-11T10:26:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh, the calm after the storm. Almost makes the storm worth it. . . . Almost.

I spent a few hours last night emptying my body of what felt like everything inside my skin. And from this day hence I don't know if I will ever be able to swallow another morsel of funeral potatoes. HOOOAAAAH! There are worse things to not eat though. I made them for a funeral, and made an extra batch for our family. I had to do a double take a few times to make sure I read the recipe right. For 25 ounces of potatoes, you add a CUBE of butter, not one but TWO cups sour cream, not one but TWO cans cream of chicken, and a cup of cheese. Wowzers. And don't forget to spray the cornflakes topping with Pam before baking. Yum! And this is the standard fare for every church function?

Anywho, so what's the plan B at your house for when the Mom is taking a little "alone" time give lunch the heave-ho? James came home from his meeting early in order to feed the kids some dinner at 8:00 that I had been too indisposed to serve up, and also to clean the house, and take care of the crying baby, who was wiped out because I had forgotten to put him down for his second nap that day, due to the first nap being delayed until mid-day. So when he came home, I was lying in the almost-fetal position on our bed, with the baby sitting up leaning against my stomach, crying and writhing. James was like, "It's going to be pretty tricky for me to clean up the house, AND feed the kids, AND take care of the fussy baby." Uh........ yeah. Yeah, it is pretty tricky. Pretty tricky, even if you're not running to the bathroom every 5 minutes to TCUB*. So I continued TCUB'ing while James took over other operations. I decided to take a nice, relaxing bath in our tub in which one can either lie on one's back in the knees-bent position, or sit up with the legs outstretched. And since the baby was continuing to fuss and cry while James was taking care of other matters, and since he needed a bath anyway, I invited him into the tub with me. I only had to dash out of the tub 2 or 3 times, and hold the dripping wet baby while I um...... TCUB. Try NOT to conjure up a mental picture, please.

So, it was a big relief to get the kids down, so that I could at least languish in chill-ridden, nauseous misery alone. Wow. I forgot how awful the stomach flu is. It reminded me a lot of being in labor, only less intense--and continual, without breaks.

Last night Josh threw up in the middle of the night--everywhere. James said it was too wet to get out of the carpet, so he just mopped up the best he could and then spread baking soda everywhere to soak it up and get rid of the smell. I guess we'll vaccuum that up later.

Then Isaac threw up this morning. Poor baby. Babies should not have to throw up. I imagine it is unpleasant to be picked up and tossed around on somebody's hip when you are feeling nauseous.

Beth had it a few days ago.

The only one who hasn't gotten it is James, which is not surprising because that is usually the case. He must have built up an immunity to every sickness known to man by growing up in a family of 11 children.

But the silver lining is, it only lasted a few hours. Sweet, sweet mercy. I can handle a few hours. And we all seem to be doing better today. Just a little drained. And my esophagus hurts.

We never think much about our bodies until there is something wrong with them. But experiences like these make me so grateful to have a body that functions well, and that I don't have to think about all the time. What a blessing to have a body that holds up through the day-to-day grind.

So, we are on our second movie for the day: The Jungle Book. And I'm not planning on doing anything today beyond the minimum exertion. And I fully plan on taking advantage of naptime to take a nap myself, the whole time.

*TCUB: Take Care of Urgent Business.

Where's our Daddy?!!

2009-09-08T18:15:00.000-07:00

It is 7:15. James is out with the missionaries doing splits. You know, sacrificing for the cause of Zion. He's cool like that. He left at 6:15.

Here is what has happened on this relatively regular Tuesday evening since he has been gone:

-Beth has thrown up... ehhhh... maybe 5 times.

-Our neighbor, Dorbetta, brought over some peaches and, hey, a bird's egg. How 'bout that.

-Josh went poop in the potty.

-The dog raided the garbage.

-I dished Josh up some apple pie and ice cream. Gotta make it worth his while, you know.

-I changed a poopy diaper.

-I called 911 for the first time in my life.

What time is it?

Right now: The baby is crying, Beth is watching "Ever After," Josh is on the potty again, and I am blogging instead of cleaning up the disaster that is our house.

--BREAK--

Okay, crying baby consoled. Barf bowl emptied and rinsed. Bum wiped. Sesame Street undies back in battle position. Currently hunkering down waiting for Daddy's return. *sigh* Thank the heavens for daddies.

ummmm.... I cannot think of an adequate title. Just read.

2009-09-02T08:50:00.001-07:00

Mother with 18 children all with 'J' names is pregnant again - and is expecting grandchild... to be christened with letter 'M'

By Mail Foreign Service
Last updated at 11:35 AM on 02nd September 2009

A couple with 18 children all with names beginning with 'J' are to welcome another baby into the family – but this time the child will be christened with the letter 'M'.

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, who revealed they are expecting their 19th child in March, will next month receive their first grandchild - Mackynzie Renee.

Their eldest son Josh and his wife Anna, both 21, will have the baby girl just nine months after his most recent sibling, Jordyn-Grace, was born.

America's biggest brood: The Duggar family near their home in Springdale, Arkansas

‘We are so thrilled,’ said Michelle, 42, of Springdale, Arkansas.

While Jim Bob, 44, a businessman and former state legislator, added: ‘This never gets old. We are so grateful for each child.

‘We are looking forward to our first grandbaby and our 19th child.’

Josh, who was home schooled and brought up as a devout Christian, said: ‘I think it is going to be awesome, it is going to be great.

‘We have been looking forward to the arrival of my little girl and to now get to celebrate for my parents, it’s a wonderful thing.’

He said he hoped to follow his parents’ lead in having many more children – but did not say whether they would also have names starting with the same letter or not.

Anna and Josh live with his parents in the debt-free house they built themselves along with twin siblings Jana and John-David, 19, Jill, 18, Jessa, 16, Jinger, 15, Joseph, 14, Josiah, 13, Joy-Anna, 11, twins Jedidiah and Jeremiah, ten, Jason, nine, James, eight, Justin, six; Jackson, five; Johanna, three, Jennifer, two, and Jordyn-Grace, eight months.

Their lives are featured on a reality TV show called 18 Kids and Counting.

Despite being pregnant 18 times before, Michelle says this pregnancy came as a shock.

‘I was in WeightWatchers with Jim Bob and I wasn’t losing any weight,’ she said. ‘I couldn’t figure it out. I was doing what I should. And the baby, who was nursing, was fussy. I kept thinking, “This isn’t right. She isn’t teething, she doesn’t have an ear infection. I’m not cheating on my diet, I should be losing weight.” Then, I put two and two together and wondered if I could possibly be pregnant.’

‘I told Jim Bob and he couldn’t keep it in, he was so excited,’ she said.

‘The kids were outside playing on a water slide and he gathered them together and had to share the news. There was all this screaming and yelling.’

Michelle has now been pregnant 147 months of her life, with five more to go.

The Duggars, who feed their brood by spending £1,250 a month, also claim that they have changed an estimated 90,000 nappies and do approximately 200 loads of laundry a month.

When they got married, they thought they’d have two or three children.

Not wanting to have a child immediately, Michelle went on the birth control pill as they waited three years to have their first child, Josh, who is now married and expecting his first child.

After Josh was born, Michelle went back on the pill.

She got pregnant anyway and suffered a miscarriage, which her physician told them was probably caused by the pill.

As conservative Christians, they decided after that to ‘let God decide’ how many children they would have.

They adhere to a movement called Quiverfull, whose members take seriously the biblical exhortation to be fruitful and multiply and believe that every child is a gift from Providence.

All the children learn to play the violin and piano and the older children help raise the younger ones.

Quid Pro Quo

2009-08-20T20:52:00.001-07:00

It was a pretty fair deal. I got mine, he got his.

The thing about "fun" family activities

2009-08-20T19:46:00.000-07:00

*Disclaimer: This post contains a few whiny complaints that are, at best, unseemly.

These are not in chronological order. You remember, that is not my forte. ("e" with an accent--correct grammar and spelling make me happy. Butt don't hold me to thate.)

One morning we decided to take the kids up to the "C" and just wander around in the mountains. It was fun! We got some snacks at the store (which were probably the highlight of the whole trip), and headed on up.

Good times were had by all.
Josh's Monkey PJ's. Mmm-hmm-Ahh-haa-haaa.
James' family came into town for a huge month long celebration of some kind. I forget what the occasion was. But we had fun! .... except, I don't know when I'm going to learn that planning big outdoor all-day outings is more on the "torture" side of the spectrum than the "fun" side.

So, not to complain, but at the Pioneer Day parade, it was a thousand degrees outside with only one tiny tree that we were all huddling under for shade; the kids were not tall enough to see over the adults right in front of us, and the whole time we were there the kids were tugging on our pants asking when we could go home. Ironic that we planned the outing especially for the kids.

We finally found this little spot a little back from the crowd, where it seemed to be a bit cooler and less crowded. You can see how happy everyone is.
Day 2 of fun, FUN, FUN!!! The kids actually had a great time at This Is The Place Monument. I didn't realize there were so many fun activities and such going on.

The whole crew. James' brothers and sisters, with spouses and children. Dad and Daylene top left.
I....... Allright. I have a hard time keeping a positive attitude at events such as this when I have a baby, especially a more challenging baby. I love these kinds of activities, but it is hard for me to fight the feeling that I am the martyr while everyone else has fun. I hate feeling like that, but I just have these picky babies that cry all day long unless they are in a temperature-controlled, shady location with all the comforts of home that they are used to. And unfortunately, Isaac is no exception. Our car was too small to fit the stroller that he might have done okay in, so we had to wing it with an umbrella stroller. Didn't work. Hence, I spent the day sweating, holding a sweaty, drooling, crying baby; trying to nurse said baby, who is starving but won't nurse because it gets too hot on a hot day especially if I have any kind of nursing cover over him. So by the time I had gone back to the floating-in-heat-waves parking lot to try my luck turning on our inept, leaky A/C to try to get him to sleep in the car, gave him some water from a water bottle that ended up all over his clothes, bundled him up in a hot blanket because that's the ONLY way he will go to sleep, etc., etc., etc., and got back to the group, who was living it up riding horses and laughing the merry day away, it was all I could do to hold back the tears. Tears of frustration, tears of our-family-will-never-get-to-do-anything-fun-together-until-I'm-menopausal-because-I-am-incapable-of-avoiding-conception, tears of -everyone-gets-to-live-it-up-but-me. Pathetic, I know. But hold back the tears I did. I kept my chin up, and when I first found the group, and heard about how much fun they were having I said to James, "Good! I'm really glad everyone else is having fun." Then I realized good ol' Jeffrey was listening and I added, "No, really! I'm not being sarcastic. It makes it worth it if you are all having a good time." *fake smile* I think I convinced him. (I am starting to get worried that the "me" that is seen at James' family get-togethers is quite different from the fun-loving, relaxed, positive "me" that I try to be when I am feeling unstressed.)

But the dam broke when James (who is not a jerk, but was not privvy to the desperateness of the situation) said, "Maaan, I never get to see my family! Could you just take all the kids back to your Mom's so they can nap, and I'll go spend the rest of the day with my family?" He is really a nice guy. I have no regrets in my choice of spouse. But there you have it. That's when the tears came.

I'll be honest. This is one of those few areas where, as spouses, we tend to disagree. James sees it as outrageous that we would cater the plans of a whole group of people to fit the babies' needs. I, on the other hand, think the adults and everyone else can have more fun if we just take care of the children first. Wouldn't it be funner to get nice visiting time with our siblings while the babies take naps? And then have more happy family time when all the little ones wake up happy and rested?

They really don't have it in for us, these babies. They are actually quite nice when their needs are met. Please see Exhibit A:
*Note: This is one of the "comforts of home" I was referring to. Isaac has somehow acquired picky enough tastes that he won't sleep well anywhere but in this bouncer seat. You can see the obvious challenges ahead of us when he grows out of it. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Yes, he sleeps all night in that bouncer, propped up inside a pack 'n' play on a pillow.

*Deep Breath*

Having said that, isn't it nice that we can agree on so many, many other things?

Okay, here's a little pick-me-up. We went to the nursing home on a Sunday afternoon a few weeks ago, and talked to all the sweet old grannies sitting in the living area. One of them was super excited to see our children because she had knitted some, um? Slippers? We tried really hard not to laugh maniacally while taking this picture. She was so sweet. It makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.
And there you have it. A disjointed hodge-podge of pictures and a whiny rant.

The Garaggio

2009-08-20T19:26:00.000-07:00

I couldn't find the picture I have of the house before the garage was added on, but you can probably imagine what it looked like as a carport. Where the brick ends, the carport began. The door is new (which we know looks weird, but we have a basement rental which is accessed from inside the garage, so they had to have a way in).

I've said it before and I'll say it again, that James can do anything. He just does things. He gets 'em done. And I don't know how we already have this much stuff in our garage. Okay, I do know. We emptied out our storage unit, and Nels is storing all his outdoor gear in our garage while they live in Austin. Plus normal odds and ends. Oh, and we emptied out our downstairs furnace room, which was full of food storage. You can imagine it got slightly awkward when either, a) we frequently knocked on the door of our renters to go grab a can of pork 'n' beans, or b) our renters walked into their own humble abode to find me scurrying around their house while they are gone, having obtained access with my key.... that they didn't know I had. Mmmm, okay that never happened. But you can imagine what it would be like if it did. Hooo, boy!

But I guess the point is, now we have a garage full of food storage. And stuff.

SA-WEE-HEEET!

Poop, Williamsburg, Mr. Organization, Van

2009-08-10T15:26:00.000-07:00

There is nothing worse than the recurring blog post about how there will be a "real" post soon. On the other hand, there is nothing better than when that post finally happens. Seriously, is there anything better than reading my awesome blog? *Nerdy laugh* *snort*

This week I am staying with the folks while James goes backpacking with his brothers in the Uintas. It's not too bad, sitting here blogging while Mom paints Beth's toenails and reads stories. We went to the zoo today. It was fun, there was a baby giraffe and a baby snow leopard that were fun to see. But I must say my favorite part of the outing was when Josh fell down in some mud. He didn't get hurt at all (don't worry, I wouldn't have enjoyed watching if he had gotten hurt). It was just a little bit of mud, but he panicked when he hit the ground, and was writhing and flopping around trying to get back up, but sort of slipping around, you know. Until I finally got over there and pulled him up to his feet, at which point he caught his breath and said, "I fought it was poop!" Then I understood his panic to get the heck outta there. Can you imagine falling into a slimy pile of poop, then trying to get out and only smearing it around and getting it all over? I don't know why this was so funny to me, I think I was the only one laughing.

In other news, James is very close to finishing his website for Williamsburg Academy, which I would encourage you to check out:

www.wacademy.org

He has worked really hard on it. Honestly, I have been surprised again and again by James at just how much a person can accomplish. He just never runs out of steam. For example, he pretty much spent 10 hours a day for 5 days organizing our garage, and that was after he built it. Who has that kind of stamina? Then there's me, 4 hours into organizing our closets I just melt down and collapse, maybe start a movie or something. I can't take that kind of back-to-back decision making for hours on end: okay, what do you want with this breast pump? Where should I put these pillow cases? Can you go through these bins? Should we keep these cloth diapers we spent $150 on, or just give them away because you never use them? Who should we give them to? Where's the DI pile? Can you put our mattress on Craigslist again? If I put this on this shelf will the kids get into it? I think we are almost done, just 2 closets left... The whole time these questions and James' face are swirling around in my brain, like in a movie, getting louder and fuzzier, until my brain explodes.

I think James could pretty much do anything he wanted. In fact, as the school morphs into a completely online school, we will have freedom to travel more, and even live wherever we want! We are planning on living for a year or two in Hawaii at some point in time. So... where would you live? If you could live anywhere you choose?

I am just excited to see where things go from here. He just has to work out a few kinks, one of those kinks being getting it so that people can pay tuition--let's cross our fingers that the $89 in our checking account will hold us over until that gets resolved--good times. Yeah, the ol' checking account gets pretty dried up by the end of the salary-free summer, especially when we try to throw in things like adding on a garage.

And now it's time for you to forget about our having no money and rejoice with me in other totally awesome news...

we are buying a Toyota Sienna!!

Please sing the Hallelujah chorus here. I only wish the font on blogger got bigger and fancier. Frankly, I'm outright disappointed, if you want to have the truth.

Yes, and it's about time. It just so happens that James' sister, Lisa, and her husband Spencer, just upgraded to an Excursion because they have lots of kids. So.... we are buying their van! It is a sort of light blue color (this is not the actual van we are buying, but I think it's pretty close), which lends itself to a myriad of possibilities when it comes to nicknames. Obvious choices would be Baby Blue, Cool Blue, Blue Thunder, True Blue.... maybe more creativity might come up with names such as Blue Dart (uh... didn't know this was crude until James laughed really hard)... and... I keep having a line from a Billy Joel song run through my mind, "your best bet is true-baby-blue continental," but that doesn't really make for any great nicknames. My creative juices have run dry. Any ideas?

Okay, that's it for the update. I still have some rockin' pictures to post, but that will have to wait until I am back home with my camera.

Fill in the Blanks

2009-07-21T08:08:00.000-07:00

There is just nothing worse than __________.

On the other hand, there is nothing better than ____________.

What made me think of this, you ask? Soupy scrambled eggs. Is there anything worse than that? Well, we'll see. But, ironically, I love a nice, yolky fried egg. Especially on toast, when the yolk can soak in to the bread. Mmm, boy.

Keep it clean, folks. And I promise I will have a real blog post coming soon. No more of this youtube-videos-and-silly-games nonsense.

Impossible

2009-07-19T16:23:00.000-07:00

These guys are serious. By one minute into it, I was blown away. And I love the music. I also love how slowly they move. Incredible. And I thought Pilates was hard.

2009-07-15T13:11:00.001-07:00

4 weeks has gone by? I guess it's time to post something. It has been a very busy 4 weeks. The first 2 of those weeks, James was out of town on a backpacking trip in Yosemite. I had the kids. Good times. No, seriously, we actually did have good times. Suzy and I tag-teamed it (Nels was gone with James), and we did a lot of movies and a lot of prepared foods such as Stouffer's Lasagnas, DiGiorno pizzas, etc. We used our hardships as an excuse to indulge ourselves in whatever treats we wanted, i.e. Haagen Dazs ice cream, shakes from Arctic Circle, home-made ice cream with Snickers in it...... yeah, we like ice cream. Every night after the kids went to bed (we pretty much had sleepovers at one of our houses every night), we would ask each other what the other would like to do, hoping that the other would suggest a movie. We both really like movies, but neither of us wanted to suggest it after we had already done it 5 nights in a row. So we would hem and haw, beating around the bush, Well, we could play a game....... we could talk...... or we could....... watch a movie. What do you want to do? With the Netflix "watch instant" movies, combined with whatever Netflix we had at the time, we enjoyed such good flicks as The Gods Must Be Crazy: Part II, Becoming Jane, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, Children of Heaven, and I'm pretty sure there were a few more.

James got back from his trip on a Friday, and that very night, Jeffrey got home from his mission and we were off to the St. George airport to see him home. The weekend was full of family festivities which lasted halfway through the next week. Included in the "festivities" was a project: turning our carport into a garage. Pictures soon to come. This is another time that I have doubted the doability of just waking up and building a garage one day, never having done it before. But James just manages to pull things like this off (with the help of many friends and family members who have a little experience..... and tools). Pictures to come soon. It is still not quite finished. He has been working long and hard on it. That weekend was baby Suzy's blessing (James' brother Seth's, and Coleen's baby) in Provo.

Also, Nels and Suzanne are moving (........ quiver of the lip........... solitary tear....................... sniff.......... gush of tears). So we have been trying to help them a little bit, and also get our garage ready for all the outdoor gear which will be in our stewardship while Nels is away.

Also, we still have diapers to change, children to laugh and wrestle with, gardens to water, houses to clean, lawns to mow, sharing time lessons to plan, meals to make and dishes to do.

So I guess we have been busy. Like always.

I'm hungry. What is there to eat around here?

More to come soon.

Picture Happy

2009-06-11T13:10:00.000-07:00

Wow, I get really really confused every time I try to set up pictures in here in any kind of order with any kind of explanation of the picture in the right place.

Since I only upload pictures to the computer semi-annually, let there be great feasting and rejoicing on this momentous occasion! Here is a lengthy sampler of random photos that I will attempt to narrate as we go:

Our Isaac boy. The first one is from before he was cruelly shorn. I miss that hair!

Hey!! Guess what? I found a red necklace! And it came with matching earrings. It cost me $13 at Urbanwear, a store I would not recommend for the quality of their clothing, but which has many fun and inexpensive accessories. My only beef with this necklace is that it really only goes with Sunday-type dress. I can't wear it with a t-shirt and jeans. But hey, still totally worth $13. My favorite thing was when I went to visit my family in West Valley and my brother Jon, age 17, goes, "Looks like you found a red necklace, eh?" I was so touched I almost burst into tears. He does care! :) Ha ha, kidding about the tears. But, I was touched that he thought my blog was interesting enough to read. Hi Jon!

I don't know quite how to say this so I will just spit it out. We got an iguana. I think his name is Mex, though I was rooting for Norm. Maybe we'll compromise with Morm. Or Norx.

Nice guy.

Here are a few shots of our sort-of-community garden, which is planted at a friend's house. We share the weeding and watering, though we are doing most of it now, and they will be moving soon, so I guess we will have plenty of produce on our hands.

Happiness. Rainbows.

So, I was getting my hair cut a while ago, and while she was cutting my hair, I was like, ya know, yammering on about all the important things in life, and I happened to mention that I couldn't seem to completely wash the product out of my hair, even though I had bought an expensive clarifying shampoo. So she was like, "Well, what kind of product do you use?"
Uhh.... I had this image flash into my mind of the product that I have been using for quite some time now:

So I was like.... "Well, I guess I could maybe be using a product that is not ideal for my hair type."
So I stopped talking.

So, here is our shower.

And here is a rather coincidental pattern in the tiles in our shower.

Am I seeing things?.....
Or could it be that there is a lazy-looking snake head in our shower? Tell me it's not my imagination.

Don't worry about it. Josh is just polishing off, not one, but two plates of ranch dressing. While looking in the mirror. None of your beeswax.

We saw Glen Beck speak at the capitol building for the George Wythe Gala. James almost got to shake his hand as Glen was weaseling his way through the crowd and out the door trying to avoid everyone. But James does have a picture of himself shaking hands with Justice Scalia. And I quote (James), "I know they are annoyed by people doing that when they are trying to get on their way, but it's worth a small annoyance on their part for me to have that awesome picture for the rest of my life." He has a point.

And here is Richard (James's brother) and Lindsay, who were at the gala as well. We slyly took a picture of them with our baby in hopes of creating a stir.

And here is the sweater knit by grandma. Classic. I love his face.

Here is a mask sculpted by James for Williamsburg Academy's elective class of sculpting last semester.

Um. Me in a garbage can.

For some reason James and I have this unspoken tradition where whenever one of us points a camera at the other we have to make the ugliest/weirdest/stupidest face we can possibly concoct. We have both learned to really capitalize on our strengths (or weaknesses, however you see it) when it comes to making a caricature of ourselves. It sometimes gets intense. So here is a sample from James. I would encourage you to click to enlarge it for the full effect.

He is going to kill me for posting that. So, in fairness, here is perhaps the ugliest, most shocking, embarrassing picture of me ever. And I was doing the double chin on purpose. I really hope that when my kids hear "your mama" jokes, they don't remember this picture and hang their heads in shame, thinking, "it's true. My mama is what they said."

And, to even things out, a normal picture:

And I have the most hilarious picture that I almost posted, and may have if the blog were private, but I feel a little too guilty to post it not knowing who could access it. It is a picture of Beth and Josh in the tub, standing up facing the wall, so I have a picture of their bums next to each other. It is pretty funny. Josh's bum is quite markedly larger than Beth's. You know those baby toys where you put the rings on the pole, biggest on the bottom, smallest on the top? Well, let's just say that Josh looks like he has two of those, upside-down, for legs. That kid.

While they were in the tub last night, Beth put a wet washcloth on Josh's back, like a cape, and started calling him "Your Highness." Apparently he really liked having the status of "Your Highness," because when I took the washcloth off his back as the tub was draining, he squealed, "Nooooo!!!!! My Highness!!!"

Another favorite line from Buddy Bear this week, and when we finally knew that the nickname would stick, was when I heard Beth say something, calling him by name and telling him something, "Josh.... [nondescript muttering]" and Josh replied, "Beffany, don't call me Josh, call me Buddy Bear."

These kids make us laugh every day.

Things that are over- and under-rated, respectively

2009-06-05T20:08:00.000-07:00

Dang! I just got all the kids down, and was looking forward to finally posting a bunch of pictures that I have been saving up on the camera for just such an occasion, but I called James, who is out of town for the night, to find out that the cord that hooks the camera to the usb port on the computer is in his briefcase. For some reason this was a huge let down to me. I have been feeling like blogging and haven't had time for a few weeks, and now I'm going to have to think of something else to say instead of my picture post.

A while ago I had the idea to do this post:

Things that are over- and under-rated, respectively:

(But I thought, okay, I'll just keep a list of things as I think of them over a period of weeks and then do the post. But I guess I don't think of "things that are over- and under-rated, respectively" very often, because I only came up with a few. And now as I look at my list it doesn't seem as funny as it did to me at the time I came up with the idea. So there you have it.)

Over-rated:

-Nice cars. I'm sorry, folks. I like a clean, luxurious car that runs well as much as the next broad, but enough is enough. Give me a new Toyota Camry*. That costs, what, maybe 30, 35k. But these BMW's that cost 70 or 80? Is it just me or does it seem like you are not getting TWICE the car in a beamer that you would be getting in a Camry? I mean, they're nicer, sure. They fit the driver like an extension of your own limbs, perhaps. But is that worth $50,000 more than a car that is comfortable, classy, and gets the job done just fine? Having said this, to people who just really want a BMW, fine. We all have our indulgences. (Nels, if you ever read this, I really want you to have a BMW someday. I really do. Really bad) But these famous people who have collections of cars that cost 200, 300K? And not one, but TEN? I'm sorry. Over-rated. And, I don't want to go on and on, but don't you want to invest in something that doesn't lose value so quickly? I would so much rather have a nice home and a few acres of property than a car that will probably get rammed by a runaway shopping cart the first month I own it. Just me.

-Ugz. You know, the boots. They're cute, and I don't think they're WAY over-rated. Just a little. Just my opinion.

-Being tan. Come on, people, I know we all look better with a tan. But is it worth hours and hours of laying out, hundreds of dollars per year at the tanning salon, and skin that is falling off your bones at age 45? I'd rather be pasty.

-Prom. Way over-rated. When I was in high school I thought it would be the undoing of any chance of future happiness if I didn't go to the prom. And you know what happened? A week or two before the big event I put a stop to whatever romance I thought I had going on with Mr. Senior-on-the-basketball-team (somehow I thought kicking things off with this winner would really up my dating-resume, which was foolish of me, as I was mercilessly made fun of by my friends for the rest of my high school existence. Still to this day whenever anyone says the word "newt," which was this desirable fellow's cool nickname, I shudder with shame. Stacey, you know what I'm talking about..... if you still read this. Not, of course, that there is anything shameful about "Newt," per se, but........ you had to be there). So as a result of this oversight on my part, I didn't go to the prom. And you know what? I am still sort of a happy, successful person. Who knew.

-Famous people. Give me a break. I do not need to hear about Brittney Spears being dragged behind a horse and cart with her head shaved until she dies a slow and painful death. Let the woman be. They are not that fascinating.

Under-rated:

-The Alberto's "Master Burrito," AKA the Master Burro. My friends and my foes, THIS is happiness. You have to get the hot red sauce and the creamy green sauce. Douse liberally and enjoy. You will be in tears of joy by the time you finish. If, indeed you do finish. It's, like a foot long, 6 inches wide and 3 inches tall. And the best part? It's $4.98 with tax. And it comes with a drink. So would you rather have a master burro or........ the Roman Empire? Tough choice.

-The band "Cake." Sweet sister Susie sing me a sweet song of joy. They are so serious, yet so silly at the same time. They make me happy.

-The envelope budget system. Eh? Eh? (Boooo! Hisssss!) Okay, so you think it's corny that I'm putting that. Well, it's true. Living wise financial principles of restraint and and discipline is under-rated. And I love the envelope system. I never thought I'd say it, but I do. And I love feeling like I control my money, my money doesn't control me.

For more tips on money management, please watch the video below:

And those are all the things I could think of that are over- and under-rated, respectively. I wish I could do a search in my brain of all the things I've ever thought of, cause I've thought of a lot.

*When I can afford one without buying it on credit, that is. For now, give me a decrepit beater and a used 15-passenger van, baby.

Locker Room Etiquette

2009-05-18T13:41:00.000-07:00

I was at the gym this morning. It's the second time I've been since Isaac was born, so it was totally not my maiden voyage. It's always a risk to try and go at all, because those people who watch all the kids in the morning have like 30 kids stuffed into this cramped, musty room with 3 or 4 employees taking care of them. This is the downside to the gym. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that they watch the kids for me. It's the only way I could really work out unless I used up evenings, my only time with James, which would never happen. It is a risk because I never know what Isaac is going to do. If he cries and won't be consoled, which is a good possibility, they come and get me and it's all over. Pack up the kids and go home, 'cause there will be no working out this morning. However, if he allows a hireling to take care of him for a little while, I am allowed the pleasure of getting some exercise, uninterrupted; followed by a shower, uninterrupted (this is another perk of gym membership). So, you may ask, why in the world would I not take this risk/opportunity every single day? Then I would also feel great and have an amazing body! Everyone wins! Ah, but it is not so easy. First of all, I would have to get breakfast on, and cleaned up afterward (I HATE coming home to dishes in the sink. I would much rather not go anywhere until I am leaving my house in order. However, I occasionally make that sacrifice when the pros outweigh the cons), get myself dressed, get 3 kids dressed--while planning for 1 or 2 stinky diapers sometime in the morning which may or may not be blowouts, pack a bag with my clothes and shower stuff, and nurse the baby, probably twice. Plus the miscellaneous tasks of finding the keys, filling up a water bottle, making my bed, etc. The class I like to attend is a spin class that starts at 9 a.m. So when I miss that I'm like, Oh well, we'll try again tomorrow. Besides, I always feel really sorry for my kids when I come back to get them when they are in that stinky room with some barbie movie in the background while a bunch of kids yell at each other and try to get the best toys. I just can't do that to them every day.

Having made my disclaimer of why I don't exercise as much as I should even though I am paying for the gym membership, let me continue my trivial musings.

Today was one of those days when everything worked out great, and I got in an uninterrupted workout, followed by an uninterrupted shower. As I was peeling off my sweaty clothes while trying to hold up a towel and maintain some modesty, I couldn't help but notice that the girl across from me in the locker room was haphazardly, and quite unabashedly tossing clothing from her body and leaving herself, well, clothes-less. Luckily, I have practiced the art of feigning nonchalance. The key is this: in a scenario such as this, you are not supposed to look right at the person. But you also should not make a great effort to not look at the person. This is the cardinal rule of the locker room. The classic don't look but don't not look rule. Since I wasn't sure of the protocol of speaking to a naked person, I decided it was best to avoid conversation until. . . you know. But perhaps it would have been appropriate to speak in the same fashion as looking/not looking. For example, while it would have been socially unacceptable to say, "Hello. I notice you are naked," it would have been only slightly less taboo to go too far into the realm of pretending she is not naked by making some offhand remark about the crazy weather, and then nervously whistling the theme song from M*A*S*H.

I will admit that I have an innate desire to do what everyone else is doing. I can't deny that I suddenly felt ridiculous going to such great lengths to conceal what was under that towel, which was the same thing this woman was openly parading. If everyone did it, I would probably be fine with doing it too. It would have been the polite thing for me to follow her lead and abandon my modesty too, so that she wouldn't feel weird when she realized she was the only one in the room with no clothes on, as I am desperately clinging to my towel between my knees while I maneuver the cap off my deodorant. However, what if the next time I was there, there was a third party in the room, who, like me, preferred to maintain a degree of modesty, but girl #1 had seen me act like I didn't care before, and now suddenly I'm going back to the towel cover-up scheme. Then I become a fair-weather friend who suddenly seems very conscious of whether or not she is in the nude. See, then I would be breaking the cardinal rule of the locker room, because everyone in a locker room should always act like she is totally unaware of whether she, as well as anyone else in the vicinity is or is not in the buff.

But lest she think I was shocked or otherwise thrown off by her nudity, I was sure to greet her once she had resumed her full attire. And as I said hello, I noticed that, hey, this was the girl I had had a lengthy conversation in front of the mirror with, two weeks ago, the last time I had come. It's just that I hadn't put the backside with the face yet. So it's a good thing I said hello.

I pondered on the way home how the world would be a better place, if we would all only follow the example of this cultural pioneer. Really, wouldn't we all like one less thing to worry about? Wouldn't it be liberating to relax those legs, tensed in the knees-clenched, ankles apart and pigeon-toed position, and just be free?

Mother's Day

2009-05-09T09:07:00.000-07:00

Here is a video that we made of the kids for my Mom (Happy Mother's Day, Mom) for mother's day. Stef and I got together and got all the grandkids in on it. On the couch in order of appearance: Jane, Josh, Beth, Rebekah. It starts out with Jane's first self-haircut. Sweeet. It also includes before and after shots if Isaac's first haircut (sniff, sniff. . . tear. . . gush of tears. . . . . . . . . . . . river of tears). The very end shot is not very well-lit, so if you can't tell, Isaac's head is bald.

Clinton

2009-05-07T16:19:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't really have anything to say. But I feel like writing. So. . . if you want to read something interesting check someone else's blog. Ha ha! But seriously.

So, we have not yet uncovered our swamp cooler in preparation for the warmer days ahead. We have had about a week now of really nice weather--not too hot, not too cold. But the afternoons get a little warm and muggy in our big, yellow living room that catches all the afternoon sun. So last night when evening arrived, I grabbed a book, opened the front door wide open to let in the fresh, spring evening air, turned out the lights to become less conspicuous to any four to eight-legged creatures (leaving just the kitchen light spilling into the living room), and holed up in my favorite recliner in the corner for a cozy evening of reading, whilst bouncing the baby in his bouncer with my foot (I had just finished nursing him moments ago). Ahhh. James was busy making recruiting calls in the kitchen to fill up the constitutional law seminar he is teaching. It's online, and it's gonna be great. Any takers? Anyhoo, while I was thus engaged in relaxing enjoyment, I heard what sounded like someone approaching our front porch. I was sort of behind the open door so that I couldn't see out the door, so I just waited.

And waited.

A long, pregnant moment passed.

After what seemed by my calculations to be about 20 seconds of silence, I hear the voice of our jovial, somewhat awkward teenage neighbor from across the street, Clinton.

"Sister Ure!" came the voice of his lips, squished through the crack of my door, where he was spying on me.

Sheesh! I had thought I had put the kibosh on any wanderers who might, by the course of least resistance, wander (or fly, whatever the case may be) through our door by turning off the lights. But I forgot about two-legged creatures. It's a good thing I had finished nursing minutes earlier.

I tried to guage the voice in which I responded to be somewhere between a "welcome-to-our-house, please-come-in" voice and a "What-the-hell-are-you-doing-peeping*-through-cracks-spying-on-your-neighbors" voice. (I apologize for the profanity. But sometimes curse words can really bring a point home, you know?)

"Ha-ha-hey, Clinton." (Courtesy laugh, while maintaining a relaxed facial position with only minimal smile--yet, still laced with the obligatory edge of "you got me!")

Since I was bugged by the intrusion, it was a good thing he just passed through the living room and into the kitchen to hang out with James while he was on the phone. He's the teenager magnet, not me. Sometimes it is rough having a husband who is so popular.

I have really dragged this 30-second occurance into quite a yarn. But you know. I told you I didn't really have anything to say.

*When I first wrote this it said "peeing." I laughed at the typo, and changed it for the sake of accuracy.

Odds and Ends

2009-04-29T12:22:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all the sweet suggestions! I am really looking forward to diving in. Really. In fact, I got James to play at the park with the kids while I went into the library with the baby and sat down at the computer to make a list of where all the books were that I wanted (something like 12 or 15) so that the next times I go with all the kids I can quickly find one or two and check them out. And the tricky thing about living in a small city that is not very close to any bigger cities is that there is just one library, and you have to take what you can get at that library. Probably about 50% of the books I entered into the computer were either checked out, or not carried at this library. And we are not part of a network of libraries. So. This week's selections: The Glass Castle, J.M. Barrie's original Peter Pan (been wanting to read that one for a while--whoa, all of the sudden, "been" looks like a really weird word), The Amazing Adventures of Cavalier and Klay." And I just noticed that, literally, on the top of my stack of books is "Taking Charge of Your Fertility," which was returned from my friend who was borrowing it. Timely! And I will be taking charge. Again. For the fourth time. I am in charge this time. Moving right along.

Me. I am in charge.

Eh-heh-heh, Ahhhh.

So I started "The Glass Castle," which is super interesting (Nice recommendation, Katie! By the way, for the record, I don't think people who read a lot are better or smarter than people who don't. It's just a hobby I enjoy; it's not that I'm more disciplined. In fact, if I were more disciplined I would do more crafty stuff out of a sense of duty. I don't.) It is a memoir (true life) of this lady's childhood, which was really weird. Her parents would just not really take care of the kids and they would move around from trailer park to trailer park. This girl was boiling her own hot dogs on the stove when she was 3 (which led to a disastrous burn when her ballerina tutu caught on fire), and then 6 weeks later her Dad absconded with her out of the hospital into the night, and into their family station wagon, and stealthily rode away from the town. Weird. In adulthood, this lady was riding in a taxi cab in New York, on her way to a party, when she saw her mom, her MOM, digging through a dumpster shamelessly looking for tidbits of discarded treasure. If this sounds interesting to you, read the book. Pretty good.

The other thing I wanted to tell you was that today I was trying to get Josh to clean up all the dress ups that he dumped out. And the quickest way to do this without a fight is to excitedly say, "Hurry! before the minataurs come!" at which point his eyes widen in mock fear, he lowers his voice to just above a whisper, and in his lispy two-year-old voice, says in all sobriety, "We have to huwwy befoe the minataws come!!!" And then he dashes down the hall post haste.* As he ran down the hall, I shouted, "hurry!! Before the minataurs eat the dress-ups!" At this point Bethany calmly explained to me from her sentry post next to my chair where I nurse Isaac, "Mom. Don't worry. Minataurs don't eat dress-ups, they only eat people." Yikes! I guess those dress-ups are even more important to her than I thought!

Welp, time to wake up the little ballerina for ballet class. 2:00 ballet class. For 3 year olds. What are these people thinking?

*Note of explanation: one time when the kids were at the "joy school" that I was doing with a couple other moms--which lasted all of a month or two before petering out--my friend was teaching the kids the myth about the minataur in the labyrinth where the boy finds his way out using a ball of string. This was probably 6 months ago, and I still don't think a day has gone by that I haven't heard the word "minataur."

A Reading Rainbow

2009-04-21T19:50:00.000-07:00

IIIIII caaaaan doooo anything! Take a look! It's in a book! A Reading Rainbooooooooow! (echo: a reading rainbow! reading rainbow!. . .). Fridays. Reading Rainbow days back at Farnsworth Elementary. We were the Farnsworth Tigers. And we couldn't be beat. Those were the days.

Ahem.

I am a voracious reader. I don't know how I find the time for it, but I guess we all find time for our priorities, whatever they are. And I spend a lot of time nursing, so I might as well be staring at some words on a page instead of the wall, am I right? In the last month or so my selections have been "The Well-Trained Mind," mostly reading that one to try to teach Beth how to read and other things, "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time," "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn," and "The Bell Jar." Some good reads. I wouldn't say any of them have been the can't-put-it-down-reads, or the I-am-a-new-person-from-reading-this-book reads, but good.

I am looking for some new material. Anyone? Anyone?

I like books that are entertaining, but if I spend a lot of time reading books that are just entertaining, I start to get the equivalent of the just-binged-on-junk-food feeling in my soul, you know? So I like to read things that teach me something. I like reading classics. But I also like reading Harry Potter. I have always tried to deny the fact that I like fantasy books. I may or may not want to be associated with cape-wearing, sword-collecting, pet-rat-owning Star Trek fans. Not that there's anything wrong with that. So I couldn't put Twilight down, all right? I admit it. And I have read all 7 Harry Potters. Lord of the Rings (though I never got all the way through the books, but I liked the movies). The Chronicles of Narnia, there's a good one for mixing fantasy with classic. Also loved "A Wrinkle in Time." Loved it.

But that is only one flavor I enjoy, usually the one I admit only to select people. I also love a great story. I loved Little Women, I loved, LOVED the Anne of Green Gables series. I loved Les Miserables.

Oh, and I don't know what genre this is, but I really love Roald Dahl. I know he writes for kids, but I think he is so rad. He makes me want to become an author.

I also have liked books like Freakonomics, The Tipping Point, The Seven Habits, The E-Myth, books like that. Those are the kind I am always very glad I read, though I might rather read something else at the time.

Also, I like to be culturally literate. You know, read the books everyone is talking about, on the best-seller lists, etc. That's why I read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and The Bell Jar.

I pretty much like everything that is interesting and educational. The types I have had the hardest time with are biographies and/or non-fiction, real-life experience books. The great exception to this general dislike was "The Hiding Place," which has got to be one of my top 5 favorites of all time.

So, I am looking to expand my horizons. I don't know what to read next, and I would really like some recommendations. What have been your favorite books? Don't hold back. Don't be afraid to recommend several. Perhaps a brief description would not go amiss, though I can always look it up online if I'm really curious.

I thank you, my fine friends.

Uncensored and uncut

2009-04-09T07:27:00.000-07:00

Ha. That title really got you reading, didn't it. You perv.

It's hard to know exactly when that day comes, but come it does. I refer to the day when, suddenly, you have to censor every thought, word, and deed around your child.

I knew that day was here when, one morning, Beth dropped her spoon while eating breakfast, and said, "cra-a-a-ap!" That word sounds a lot more sordid coming from the mouth of a 3-year-old.

I cringed. (Okay, I laughed.) What other things is this sponge absorbing while I am totally unaware of my base misconduct?

When they are new babies, you don't have to worry that much about it. I still take my baby in with me to shower every day, and set him on the floor in his bouncer. For one thing, he has had a slight cough and I figure the steam helps. Also, the sound of the shower has a calming effect on him. And third, there is really no other way. I wouldn't hear him crying if he were in his bed and I were in the shower. So, for obvious reasons, he gets to see "the real me" on a daily basis. Not to mention nursing.

So the point is, we get quite comfortable with our kids being pretty "in the loop" when it comes to daily life, body functions, outbursts of anger, etc. We even sometimes act in ways in front of them that we wouldn't in front of an adult. (Do you like how I include you on this by saying "we" instead of "I?" It makes me feel better.)

It is easy to see how we get to this point, but it still is a shock on that day that you realize your child has accumulated TMI.* You get little hints when you notice they are becoming more curious. Then all of the sudden, you feel violated when your 3-year-old is banging on the bathroom door, crying, asking, why can't she come in? "Mo-ho-ho-hom! I wanted to watch you!" Eeeee.

Of course, it doesn't help that we all share a bathroom, and what goes on in there is, to some extent, common knowledge. It frequently happens that someone is showering/bathing/grooming, and somebody else really needs to go. That can't be avoided. Let us just pray that by the time our children are embarrassingly old to be sharing bathrooms with parents, we will have at least 2 bathrooms. We can at least be grateful, for now, that none of the children demand privacy for themselves yet.

Here's another scenario: when that same sweet 3-year-old leers a little too closely while Mommy is nursing the baby. I have recently felt suddenly like I need to use a cover-up even when alone at home with the kids. Not that I think she's a pervert or anything, and not that it's a big deal if you are comfortable with a very casual mother-daughter relationship. But for some reason I am getting a little uncomfortable with her curiosity. Additional discomfort results from children asking pointed questions about human anatomy using the correct words you insisted be used from the beginning without shame or hushed tones. I am comfortable with these discussions (in moderation) when I am fully clothed, but when I can't get enough privacy to avoid embarrassing questions about specifically myself, I start feeling a little outraged that my body and bodily functions are topics for dinner table discussions, and I wonder how long it will be before they share what they consider matters of utmost interest with friends and neighbors.

So how old is too old? And how much is too much?

The good thing about this discomfort is that it may spur me to at least eliminate anything that is inappropriate from our home, such as t.v. shows and other entertainment that may contain tidbits not fit for the ears of children, and the ears of adults if we are being honest.

And, also being honest, it is posts like this that make me wonder about the prudency of making this blog "private." Maybe I'd be doing myself and others a favor. Who knows what old seminary teachers and what not have now been force-fed this disgraceful information. Oh well. Your fault for reading a post called "Uncensored and uncut."

*Too Much Information

2009-04-04T18:23:00.000-07:00

Conversation between Beth and me today as I'm hurriedly doing her hair:

Beth: Can I do my hair?

Me: Mmmm. . . no. . . I'm just going to do it real quick.

Beth: But it's my hair.

Me (trying to get a little more creative): Well, I made your hair with the nutrients from my body when you were in my belly. So it's kind of mine.

Beth: . . . .

Beth: But it's on my head!!!

The only April Fool: me

2009-04-04T17:58:00.000-07:00

I hate to disappoint everyone who was so confident in my ability to be a Master Pranker, but for April fools, I thought about doing a lot of things, and ended up doing none of them. Since James saw my last post before April fool's day (what are the chances? He never checks this), I ended up just discussing with him what we might do to other people. We thought about somehow getting the keys to our friends' van and absconding with it, perhaps leaving a small toy van in its place in their garage. . .

We also discussed the possibility of fooling some friends into believing they were being audited for tax fraud (not that they were guilty of tax fraud, just to scare them, you know), but that ended up being too complicated.

Next idea was sneaking into a friend's office (James happens to have the keys) and selecting a few choice items to be gellified into a decorative mold of a large jell-o jiggler (fans of The Office will know this is not our original idea. . .).

Golly, it sounds like we have a lot of friends. The truth is, all of these tricks were going to be played on the same friends. And these friends are probably moving this fall. Wow, we need to start taking applications for some new friends. Friends who want to hang out with us like twice a week. Any takers?

Oh, and I also was planning on bringing James a glass of juice that was partially apple cider vinegar. Ha! That would have packed a wallop. But I didn't even do that. And that was an easy one.

I guess we were just lazy. What a shame. How foolish I am.

Oh well, there's always next year.

April Fools!

2009-03-30T07:58:00.000-07:00

April Fools day is perhaps the best goll-darn day of the year. Usually people don't remember that it's coming, and they totally don't see it coming. I have always loved playing jokes on people. Never really mean ones, though. The only mean joke I remember playing was the time that I packed up every pair of underwear owned by my brother Will, probably 6 or 7 at the time, except the pair he was wearing. I stuffed them all into an empty plastic bread bag and hid them in an obscure location on a shelf in the garage. Oh, I thought I was pretty clever. I thought the joke would be funny because it was a phase where Will wasn't bathing as often as I thought necessary, and I wondered how long it would be before he even noticed they were gone. I laughed harder and harder to myself as the days went by, and by the time it had been about a week, Will finally came to my parents in tears and told them he didn't have any underwear, and he didn't know where they were. See, he thought he was going to get in trouble for losing them all. And then suddenly I looked like such a vicious monster for playing this cruel joke on this poor 6 year old. I thought when the joke got out I would be hailed as the hilarious prankster. That one didn't turn out so well.

So I decided to vest my talents into less traumatizing pranks, like the old cover-the-toilet-with-saran-wrap joke. A classic. This one didn't turn out so hot, though, because my dad was the one who used the toilet, and he just didn't see eye to eye with me when I tried to explain what a hysterical joke this was.

But undaunted, I tried the prank where you put a rubber band tightly around the sprayer hose on the kitchen sink, so that when someone turns on the water they get hosed. Har har. Too bad it was my Mom.

Adding to those the occasional toilet-papering of someone's yard, usually getting caught. . . and one time even doorbell ditching a bag of poop on someone's doorstep and being forced to go own up and apologize. . . you could say my career as a prankster was shaping up to be rather unsuccessful.

Although one time my roommate Stacey and I super-glued a handful of change to the cement steps coming out of our dorms so we could watch people scrape and pull to try to get a dime or a quarter. That was funny, and no one got mad.

Ooh, ooh, and the year James and I had been dating for like a month and decided to announce our engagement to our families. . . on April 1st. Funny to us, but again didn't go over so hot with the fam-diddly-amily.

The catch to this side of my personality is that, while I love to be the one playing the prank, I can't really take a joke. I know. Hypocritical. I looooove pouring ice water on someone in the shower, or throwing a fast-ball pitch with a rubber ball right at the shower curtain (that one had good results with James--I smile as I replay the sound he made in my head), but I really get pretty peeved when someone plays a joke on me--if it's a joke that scares me or makes me look foolish.

So the point is, I need to find some harmless, yet hilarious jokes that I wouldn't mind played on me, yet are still quite comical. I thought these jokes fit the bill:

The video gets a little long, but I love the water cups idea. A little too time-consuming for this year though, and I don't know who we would do it to, because I wouldn't want to do it to ourselves.

And although this next one is way too complicated for the average person to coordinate, it is funny. And at least we can watch someone else do it and laugh.

So. . . what jokes have you played on people in the past? Anyone have any great ideas for a hilarious, relatively easy and cheap, non-traumatic joke I could play on James for April fools? Or just some good stories of past April fools?

It really is the most wonderful time of the year.

This just in: shopping is really fun!

2009-03-27T15:12:00.000-07:00

I'll tell you what I like about etsy.com. You just never know whether you're going to find something ridiculously fabulous, or something downright weird.

The good news is, look at this awesome necklace!!!

The bad news is, $345. Yeesh. Too bad it's my favorite red necklace I have ever seen.

And nothing says "chic" like this sassy little number:

Not so much my style though.

But I thought this cluster had possibility:

Kinda fun. Don't know if it fits into the once-a-weeker-type wardrobe that I rock here in happenin' Cedar City. But kinda fun.

Then I saw this chunk of gladness:

Really an option for me. But alas, $150.

Ah, but my fine friends. Here is a classic:

$44. Getting closer.

Here is another. This one is pretty fun. But I don't know if the length is exactly what I have in mind. But the good news is, HEY! $15.

Not sure how I feel about this number, but perhaps it has potential for $14:

And just for my personal records, can someone tell me what is going on in this picture?

?????!!!!! Kellie, is this what you had in mind when you said I should go to Roberts and make a necklace? Nice.

I also liked this suggestion from Katie, for I think $14.50:

If you want to comment on your preferences and help me decide, I would like that. And yes, I know the $350 one is awesome, but come on, what can I do about that? Maybe I'll sell my kitchenaid. Or my soul. Something.

The point is, I like shopping.

A request

2009-03-24T18:12:00.000-07:00

So I am not the best online shopper in the world. I am a bit of a novice actually. But I am no fool, I can plainly see the benefits of online shopping, and I have done it a little. Part of me is afraid that I will become a shopping-crazed, sleep-deprived lunatic spender if I discover the joys and triumphs of wheeling and dealing online. But ever since I have had 3 children, I have wondered, when, when will be the next time I could go shopping for 3, 4, maybe 5 hours and really get things done, you know? Get all those little things that I think of randomly, the things I would have to stop at 12 different stores all ranging from 2 to 50 minutes away from my house. I would honestly rather go without the things I am talking about than take all 3 of the kids on a shopping excursion, partly because I would feel bad for them, and partly because I would feel bad for myself.

One of these random items I keep looking for is a red necklace. I have several pairs of red shoes, which I enjoy wearing as a bold accent to a non-red outfit. But apparently it is an unspoken rule of fashion that if you wear an accent color, you should wear it in 2 places. So I am not supposed to wear a black shirt with jeans and *BOOM*, red shoes. I should tie in the accent with perhaps a red necklace, bracelet, or headband. So for a while now I have been looking for a chunky, casual red necklace. Something that's not shimmery, that doesn't have any gold or silver in it. Just a beaded red necklace. And I would prefer to find it for $20 or less.

Any ideas?

I have checked only a few places: Gap, BR, Target, Dillards. None of them have what I want. Do any of you buy jewelry online or know of places where it is relatively cheap, relatively good quality, and most important, cute?

Cough it up, you shopping gurus.

A bunch of words and a cute prayer

2009-03-18T13:06:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the dry spell. It's just that whenever I have some free time, I think, hmm, what on earth should I do with this half hour?. . . Oh! I could 1-do the dishes, 2- do the laundry, 3-take a shower, 4-bathe the baby, 5-bathe the other two stinkies, 6-read my scriptures or another book of my choice, 7-take a nap, 8-read the kids a story 9-check my email, or 10-make a blog post. And usually there are even more options than that. Those are just the basics. But the good news is--and this is really, REALLY good news: for the last 3 or 4 nights, Isaac has slept from about 9 p.m. until about FIVE o'clock in the a.m., and then gone back to sleep after nursing until about 7:30.

HAAAAALELUJAH!!! (Please sing the full Messiah chorus in your minds)

So now when it is nap time for the kids, I have felt for the last few days like I don't need a nap, which makes for some sweet solitude in the afternoons, and a little extra free time.

But enough about me, let me tell you about Josh. The boy is learning to participate in family prayers, and blessings on the food. So today James was helping him say the prayer at breakfast and here is an excerpt from the prayer:

J: We're thankful that we have a great Mommy,
Boy: We're thankful that we have a great Mommy,
J: And a decent Daddy,
Boy: And a decent Daddy,
J: And a good sister and a good baby.
Boy: And a good sister and a good baby.
J: Please help me be kind to Bethany today.
Boy: Please help Daddy be kind to Be-heee today.

His understanding of correct usage of pronouns has suddenly become awfully convenient. And Daddy was very kind to Be-heee today.

In other news, Richard recently sent me this video that some of you may have already seen, but if you haven't it's worth 4 minutes and 12 seconds of your time. We can all laugh at it because none of us are the "spoiled idiots" he's talking about, right?